>> Jul 9, 2009
As I mentioned in my previous post, abusing is one of deviant parenting styles. Don’t do this! Each parent may use their own parenting style, but do you know that what you’ve done is the best to them? Applying the appropriate parenting style becomes crucial because whatever you do to your children will affect in their life in the future.
Some parents still make mistakes in parenting their child. To avoid making mistakes, you should know first what your present parenting style is. If you find that there’s a mistake, you can fix the problem immediately. Baumrind, Maccoby and Martin identified the parenting styles in early child development to four: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent and neglectful.
This parenting style encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions. Authoritative parents allow the child to explore more freely and to make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning.
When punishing a child, the authoritative parents will always explain his or her motive for their punishment. The punishments are measured and consistent in discipline, not harsh or arbitrary. This is the most recommended parenting style by the child parenting experts.
Being raised with the authoritative style, the children will have a higher self esteem and independence because of the democratic nature. Children are often cheerful, self-controlled, self-confidence and achievement–oriented. They will keep friendly relations with peers, cooperate with adults, manage well with stress, do well in school and have a high academic competence.
Parents who apply this style expect children to comply with their demands and don’t allow for open dialogue between parent and child. Unlike the authoritative parents, authoritarian parents expect much of their child but don’t explain the reasoning for the rules or boundaries. They are unresponsive to children’s needs and are most likely to spank a child as a form of punishment.
Studies show that the children tend to be socially withdrawn, look to others to decide what’s right, lack of social independence, have low self esteem and low self confidence, have weak communication skills, lack of social academic competence, lack of spontaneity and curiosity. They are often unhappy, fearful and anxious about comparing themselves with others.
In the future, some children might also become a rebel by openly defying the parents and often might be estranged from their parents during adulthood. Authoritarian parents actually cause psychic destruction to their children.
This parenting style is also known as permissive, nondirective or lenient parenting. Indulgent parents very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them. They are very responsive to the child's needs and wishes and will do anything the child requests to do. Indulgent parents do not require their children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. Some parents find it easier to communicate with their children in this way.
Children will rarely learn respect for others and have difficulty controlling their behavior. They might be domineering, egocentric, noncompliant, impulsive, and have difficulties in peer relations. When in trouble, the child will simply blame someone else even if it was his or her own fault. However, like a child raised in an authoritative parents and unlike a child raised in an authoritarian parents; the children will often continue to have a close and loving relationship with the parents in adulthood.
Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, dismissive, or hands-off parenting. The parents are low in warmth and control, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Parents are unsupportive of their children, but will still provide basic needs for the child. Neglectful parents are focused on their own needs more than the needs of their own child.
Children often become immature, display contradictory behavior, tend to be socially incompetent, and frequently have low self-esteem. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency. They often experience depression and social withdrawal, and are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and drugs than children of authoritative parents. Some children will grow up feeling hate against their parents and often might be estranged from them into adulthood.
Each parenting style will determine how the child’s life in the future. Since the authoritative style is the best parenting style, as parents, for the shake of your child’s life, you should try and do your best to apply this parenting style in your family.
rewrite source: http://en.wikipedia.org