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How to Overcome Conflict with Your in-laws (1)

>> Sep 3, 2009

Actually, I still have other tips on how to build good moral character of your child; but I’d like to keep it for later. Now I want to discuss another topic. Let’s talk a little bit of marriage life here...

Husbands and wives, marriage life could be so complicated, right? As happens in many countries, a marriage unites and involves two big families. With this condition, conflicts may happen and it can influence your marriage life. Similar with the relationship between you and your mother/father in-law; having trouble with your in-laws can tend to be a sensitive problem that can pull your energy and mind.

Living together or living near with in-laws sometimes can’t be avoided. You may still stay at home of your mother/father in-law; or you live in the same cluster with your in-law; or your in-law stay at your home. It can be enjoyable cause living near with relatives means there are someone that can be asked for if you need a help.

But, on the other side, you may have troubles with your in-law’s behavior. From the small thing such as borrowing your goods until money problem; can tend to be a conflict. If it doesn’t overcome seriously, this friction can threaten your marriage life. How to overcome the conflict? I’ll mention some tips from Adriana Ginandjar, a marriage consultant and a lecturer of Psychology Faculty of Indonesia University:

Overcome your lazy in-law.
All complaints can be settled if there are already clear rules since the beginning. This agreement has to be obeyed by all occupants; ex: the rule on distribution of house tasks. You must learn to be assertive. Don’t allow your in-law’s bad habit. Don’t do anything can be meant that you agree with his/her behavior. Take action and settle the problem soon. Ask your in-law to discuss the situation and find the solution together.

Your in-law love to borrow your things.
It’s okay if she/he always returns it; but what if there are none of your things being brought back to you? It can make you annoyed because you won’t be comfortable to ask your in-law to bring back your things. To overcome this situation; always ask when it will be returned before you lending out your things. You may also say that he/she doesn’t have to bring it back by her/himself; your servant will take it later. You can also give little signs on your things to avoid being claimed by your in-laws.

As long as you’re in the right position; it’s fine to act distinctly, but still respectfully. Even your neighbor is your relatives; the tolerance of living together should always be applied. It can’t be allowed if someone comes in and out of your house to take your things without permission.

Read the following tips in my next post

23 komentar:

attayaya September 3, 2009 at 4:57 PM  

pokoke semua masalah dapat diselesaikan dgn cara seksama

pisss .....

damai di hati
damai di bumi

al-basri September 3, 2009 at 6:08 PM  

salam
menarik artikelnya, kebenaran dan kebiasaan... tapi aku belum ada ni...

terima kasih

indo15 September 3, 2009 at 8:12 PM  

bermanfaat banget tips nya walau bahasa inggrisku pas pasan tap coba mengerti bahasan artikel di atas,memang kadang kala kita di hadapkan pada satu masalah dalam suatu rumah tangga yang pelik namun berusaha utk menyelesaikan antar individu tanpa melibatkan pihak ke 3 dengan share tanpa emosi.

Digital Life September 4, 2009 at 2:50 AM  

Konflik dengan mertua memang selalu ada, tapi tergantung cara kita menghadapinya. Nice article friend, terus berkarya..

imelda September 4, 2009 at 5:55 AM  

yes in laws are hard to please for me. i knew it. but I just had to adjust to have peace in the family.

kathy September 4, 2009 at 8:40 AM  

This is a funny post but true.

Risma September 4, 2009 at 4:36 PM  

Thank God, I've no problems at all with my in law, sis. Since my husband is the youngest son. We live in our own home and my mother in law lives in her own too (my father in law has passed away 20 years ago). We visit my mother in law every Saturday afternoon and give her a chance to play aorund with her youngest grand daughter. I think this is a healthy way to keep our relation ship fun..

Winarno September 4, 2009 at 9:03 PM  

Sebenarnya yg terpenting sikap kita dlm menanggapi sebuah konflik. Apalagi konflik sama mertua. Karena mertua juga orangtua kedua kita setelah berumah tangga...

Bang Rahmat September 4, 2009 at 11:59 PM  

iya nie, gue jarang on line juga. oke deh ku coba atas saran kamu. thnkas ya

Miawruu September 5, 2009 at 12:04 AM  

Wah.. permasalahan klasik Mertua VS menantu, tapi very danger kalo ga diselesaikan. Save as...save as hehehehehe

attayaya September 5, 2009 at 5:01 AM  

berkunjung sebelum shalat subuh

Zippy September 5, 2009 at 11:42 PM  

Intinya, semua konflik itu pasti ada cara pemecahannya...
Jadi, kita harus bisa menghadapi segala masalah yang ada dengan senyuman...
*Sotoy banget gue :D

Life is Wonderful September 6, 2009 at 1:14 AM  

semua hitam putihnya sifat pasangan baru kita ketahui setelah menikah yha... ^^

semoga kita memperoleh pasangan yg terbaik untuk qta & keluarga. amin,....

attayaya September 6, 2009 at 11:34 PM  

lha blom apdet tho?
cepetan lah
hehehehehe jaksa eh.. maksa

kakara September 7, 2009 at 2:19 AM  

Kalau semua/para menantu bisa baca artikel ini, konflik menantu vs mertua bisa dihindari.. makasih sharingnya sob :)

Am September 7, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

good tips and we should try our best to be a good partner , lover , and 'family'

jimox September 7, 2009 at 6:54 AM  

Yup bener,pilihan untuk tinggal sama mertua ada baik dan buruknya. Dan pilihan mana yang harus kita ambil? Tergantung dari pribadi kita dan mertua kita,jadi kita sendiri yang tau baik dan buruknya. bener nggak ya? Soalnya aku belum nikah. :)

tips dan Informasi September 8, 2009 at 10:58 AM  

i like this article, but my english not more good, but i know what u mind about it, good 3x must be carefull before step up to married, but don't fear to married

Tattoo Fading Lotion September 9, 2009 at 2:22 AM  

Great Post, Family is what really matters. Putting others before yourself, thats the hard part!

Anonymous November 29, 2010 at 11:31 AM  

Sorry for off topic, but 2012 is close, is this really matter?

Tivisiana May 14, 2011 at 12:44 AM  

This is a funny post but true.

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Hi, welcome to my blog. You can call me Lina. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. Married to a kind and funny guy, have no child yet. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
This blog contains articles in family topic. I'd like to share them with you...
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