>> Feb 17, 2010
I’ve made posts on qualities in a good wife. You might think how about qualities in a good husband that a wife likes? Well, this post is the answer, it’s husband’s turn now. I found this article; and I want to share it here. Happy reading…
When you were single, you could focus on your needs entirely. Now that you’re in a partnership, it just isn’t going to work. Sometimes you have to think about the family and the marriage before you think about yourself.
A marriage is a complicated thing. Being a good
When you talk about the interpersonal dynamics of a man/wife relationship, a lot of these dynamics involve how you communicate with one another. We send both intentional and unintentional signals to our spouse through our interpersonal communications. So a large part of being a good husband in this context is showing you are a part of the team, supporting your teammate while communicating when your need support in your turn.
1. Be Her Sounding Board
When your wife tells you her problems, she isn’t necessarily looking for a problem solver. She wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life.
A husband who hears about his wife’s problems instinctively wants to come to the rescue. But most of the time, this isn’t what your wife is looking for. You need to fill the role more of a psychologist than that of a troubleshooter. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do.”
When your wife comes to you with her problems, she isn’t looking for you to be her lawyer. And she certainly doesn’t need you to be her football coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counselor, to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.
2. Show Respect
A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.
Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.
Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.
3. Avoid Judgment
Try not to sweat the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. If you judge every action or opinion your wife has, that’s going to come through in your words and actions.
Your wife is different from you. Of course she isn’t going to perceive things the way you do. She’s had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She won’t always like what you like. She won’t behave like a man does.
It’s a good article, right? Hope husbands can learn from this. I’ll divide it into two posts, so, see you…
Picture source: lighteningonline.com