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When Parents Should Get Involved in Kids’ Issues

>> Jun 15, 2010

As mother / parents, it’s wiser if you know the right time and situation when to get involved in your kids’ problems. In her article, Katie McElveen wrote 7 common situations that perhaps need your interference. Happy reading…

1. Your child has an unreasonable amount of homework.

Should you interfere? Not until you’ve done some serious investigation work. Make sure your child is legitimately spending time working, not playing with the dog or other fun activities. If that’s not the case, make an appointment with the teacher.

How to handle it: Come prepared. Before the meeting, keep track of your child’s progress. Set goals for your child to complete an assignment, then assess at the end of that time. Write down specific challenges. The more you can show that you’ve tried to deal with the issue at home, the more receptive a teacher will be to your concerns.

When to reconsider: If your help in organizing tasks seems to speed things up and ease stress, the answer may be structure, not a teacher conference.

2. Another adult lectures your child.

Should you interfere? If the conversation is an attempt to keep your child safe (he’s climbing up the slide the wrong way), let the other parent finish.

How to handle it: Be present and reinforce what the parent was saying so your child understands that it’s not OK with you, either. Stopping others from disciplining your child lets your child think that he can behave badly when out of your sights.

When to reconsider: If the adult is speaking to your child more strongly than is necessary, you can politely cut him off. Introduce yourself as the parent, then say that you’ll take it from there.

3.Your child didn’t get invited to a big birthday party.

Should you interfere? No. Making an issue about the slight will probably make things worse and draw attention to the fact that your child was left out.

How to handle it: Instead, focus on comforting your child and planning something fun as a diversion on the big day. Down the road, if this happens more than once, consider enrolling your child in a class or a program outside of school. “He’ll meet a new group of kids who share his interests.

When to reconsider: You may want to talk to the teacher―not the other child’s parent―to make sure there’s not a larger issue between your child and the birthday boy. Ask if there is some tension between this child and your child. If you find out that your child did do something mean, use this opportunity to show how his actions affect others.

4. Another kid is bullying your child on the playground.

Should you interfere? Not immediately, unless your child’s safety is at stake. If you’re there, watch closely and give your child a chance to solve the problem on her own. The same goes for school: it’s better first to equip your child with skills to stay safe and empower her to resolve the situation on her own.

How to handle it: Rehearse ways for your child to respond. For example, if your child has a sense of humor, she can use a retort like “No, I’m not a baby, but thanks for asking,” spoken in an assertive tone of voice. Otherwise, she can employ a strong “Cut it out” before walking away. Have her practice standing up straight, chest out, like she’s wearing a bulletproof vest.

When to reconsider: If the bullying persists and your child feels threatened, get involved. If you are the one intervening on the playground, unemotionally pull your child out of the situation before discussing it. Talking to her in front of the bully could be more embarrassing. If the bullying is at school, ask a teacher to keep an eye out. Most schools take bullying seriously―39 states in USA have laws addressing it―so teachers should have practices in place. To learn more, check out stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov, which has suggestions for both parents and kids.

Source: realsimple.com and google

5 komentar:

eNeS June 16, 2010 at 12:07 AM  

Pertamax juga disini...
Semua solusi tentang permasalahan anak sudah mbak miliki. Pastinya suatu saat mbak akan menjadi Ibu yang bijak, jadi matahari. Amien...

Cheqna June 16, 2010 at 8:27 AM  


a good article and guidance on how to tackle some arising issues with the kids..


Lina Marliana June 16, 2010 at 9:34 AM  

nice tips.. aku seringkali pusing mikirin Bee yg makin besar makin sulit diaturnya.. gara2 punya adek dia malah makin manja, ga mau kalah sm adeknya.. padahal selisih usia mereka 9thn.. sering dibikin pusing nih sm sikap dan prilaku dia.. untungnya, aku sempat sharing sm gurunya yg sempat dijadikan tempat curhat oleh Bee, jd tau klo selama ini masalahnya cuman jealous.. skrg lega sudah, masalah ini sudah terselesaikan..

eden June 16, 2010 at 7:41 PM  

Hi, Lina!

Very informative post. Thanks for sharing.

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