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The Ten Phrases Not to Say to Your Kids (2)

>> Jul 19, 2010

Dear parents, it’s the second post. If you forget the first three; you can see here.

4. “We’ll see.”

“We’ll see” is a pause button for those times when you just can’t handle another decision. But this age-old trick may very well say to your child that you’re too busy or distracted for her. This in turn provokes your child to continue to ask the same question until you are so annoyed with the constant nagging that you make a rash decision. Instead, ask her to check in with you later. Or, if you’re just delaying the inevitable no, bite the bullet and give it to her straight.

5. “Give Aunt Millie a kiss!”
Forcing your child to hug, kiss, or show affection to someone sends the message that he doesn’t have control. Kids need to be certain that they can say no to unwanted physical attention, starting at a young age, so that as they develop and grow they will know how to handle situations that they may be placed in.

6. “Calm down.”
If your child is hyperventilating or won’t sit still for emergency medical treatment, this phrase may not be so bad. But for ordinary emotions—even those expressed in ways that would rival a soap star’s performance—“calm down” may translate to: “Your feelings don’t matter.”

Swallow your frustration with your child’s theatrics and simply say, “Wow, you’re mad/sad/frustrated, let’s work through this.” You never want to let your child feel as though the expression of emotion is a bad thing, because the alternative – a child that shows little to no emotion – is not easy to handle, either.

7. “When I’m right, I’m right, and when I’m wrong, I’m still right.”
It is all right for your kids to know that you’re not perfect. Actually, they already know it. Experts agree that it’s better for parents to fess up to mistakes than to claim superiority. When you say, ‘I shouldn't have done that,’ your child will have a rock-solid sense that her feelings matter to the people who are most important in her life. Additionally, you don’t want to encourage your children to always be on a quest to be right, because as the phrase goes, no one is perfect.

Source: google & parenting.kaboose.com
Image source: sudardoodle.net

3 komentar:

Cheqna July 19, 2010 at 10:05 PM  

often guilty of saying the 4th phrase..

and on the 7th, its hard for adults to admit mistakes...but for me, i'd feel bad if I've wronged the kids n normally cry when i apologise to them...hehe..


Edwin's Personal Blog July 20, 2010 at 5:53 AM  

we're used to misusing phrases onto our kids. not motivating but misdirecting instead...

Mommy Mayonnaise July 20, 2010 at 1:41 PM  

Number 6 is the daily used phrase for my little daughter recently, sis (lol). Seems like she has never stop running, jumping and shouting. I just can't take it anymore.. Hahaha


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