>> Jul 13, 2010
I’ve just read this article (written by Laura Laing); I want to share here for you, parents. Perhaps you’ve noticed that there are many theories on parenting guidance. It’s a wise thing if you have enough knowledge about this; but it’s only you that really know how your child’s personality is. Remember that every child is a unique person, don’t generalize them.
In recent years, some of the most common parental statements have come under study from experts. Here’s a sample of things that you should consider banning from your language.
1.“No.”What is wrong with the word no? There’s nothing’s wrong completely—unless it’s used for everything. Save the big guns for difficult situations, like when your todler is in mortal danger.
It’s far more effective to be specific and positive. Instead of barking, “No!” when your four year old stands up in his chair at the dinnertable, try saying, “Please sit on your bottom.”
2. “Wait until your father (or mother) gets home.”This is one of those things you may think, but is rather best left unsaid. It’s best to make the big parenting decisions together. Additionally, you don’t want to feel responsible for introducing a sense of fear in your child for one parent or the other. This could be a mistake that has the potential to create an awkward relationship as your child grows older.
3. “You’re the greatest!”Of course your child is the best thing, but too much unspecific praise can go to our kids’ heads. Worse, these comments can create pressure for perfection. Experts advise us to be specific and child-centered. Try the following, “You must be very proud of that drawing. I like how you drew a big smile on the sun.” Statements like these allow for greater self-esteem.
I’ll divide this into three posts. See you…
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