>> Jun 6, 2013
A question which comes to every person who is about to get married, is "How do I know if I'm marrying the right person?"
Finding Miss or Mr. Right is not always an easy thing to do. Once you think you have found the right person, you may have doubts. Having doubts about whom you are marrying is not only normal and having doubts is healthy. Hopefully you already know that you shouldn't marry someone who drinks too much, spends too much, works too much, brags too much, uses drugs, is engaged in any of the illegal activities, is unfaithful, cruel, or dishonest.
If your future spouse is free of those destructive behaviors and you are still having doubts about getting married, read these statements. You will see if your doubts are reasonable and worth paying attention to, or if you are having cold feet about getting married without having any rational reasons.
Happiness and Emotional Support
Although expecting a spouse to make you feel happy all the time is unreasonable, being with the right person can bring happiness and a sense of personal strength to your life. You will know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth both emotionally and intellectually. The right person will want you to be emotionally healthy and able to stand on your own feet. When you are with the right person, you will feel good about yourself, safe, and fulfilled.
The right person will not be negative, selfish, embarrassing, critical, or a slob. Why spend your life with a jerk?
Affection and Love
It is important that the person you marry is someone who is understanding and agreeable to your wishes and needs when it comes to love. You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse says "I love you" not only in words spoken, but by his actions as well. Loving actions may be defined as doing things such as noticing when you are tired, remembering your birthday, wanting to spend time with you, listening to you, showing you respect, calling if you are running late, showing you affection, being patient with you if you don't understand something and hugging you for no special reason.
The right person is someone who you like. The right person will enjoy spending time with you. Your love and your marriage will slowly fade if the two of you are not friends. The right person is kind, considerate, and polite. Little things in life such as saying 'thank you' and holding a door open may seem old fashioned, but they do reflect the amount of caring and kindness in a person.
Communication, Goals, and Values
You and the right person will have similar goals and values in life.
Having different likes and different opinions is not a problem as long as the two of you agree to disagree. Although you may not always agree with one another, conversations with the right person will be interesting and not boring. The right person will communicate thoughts and feelings with you and will not keep hurts and concerns bottled up inside.
Understanding that the only constant in life is change, the right person should be willing to discuss marriage issues and topics both before and after you get married. The right person will want to work with you to balance your work and personal lives.
Feeling as if you are the only one picking things up around the house or taking care of the kids can get old. The right person is willing to share in the responsibilities of your home and future children.
Finding the right person does not mean that the two of you will not have difficulties or differences to deal with. However, with the right person you will know that the two of you will be able to work through the issues that could hurt your relationship. The way you handle disagreements and conflict shows more than what you fight about.
Trust and Honesty
The right person is honest with you.
The right person will trust you and not monitor your phone calls, or computer usage, or limit the amount of time you spend with others you care about. You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse does not try to isolate you from your family and friends. You not only need to belong to family, friends, groups, etc., you have the right to do so. The right person in your life will not try to control your life but will want to share a life with you.
The right person will trust you and not spy on you. Feeling as if you have to justify your every move will become a very heavy burden.
Red Flags in Your Relationship
If you realize that, there are red flags or problematic issues in your relationship do not ignore them or delude yourself into thinking that such issues are not that important or that someone you love will find a solution for that. It does take more than love to have a successful marriage!
Author is a professional writer who loves to share her views about the marriages and relationships. Author is explaining the domain of matrimonial relationship in India.