Couple’s Corner: Jealousy

This post is this Wednesday’s Couple's Corner. We can learn by sharing and reading other’s experience, right? Happy reading…

Jealousy is one of our differences. I’m not a jealous person, but my hubby can be jealous easily. Thank God, his jealousy isn’t the blind one. I really understand that his jealousy shows how much his affection to me. I’ve never assumed it as a negative thing.
But I became confused when he asked,” Why you’ve never been jealous?” Yeah, why I’ve never been jealous to him? I think it’s only my personality; because I also love and don’t want to loose my hubby. I can feel his strong love; I believe in him 100% that he’ll always keep this trust. I think it’s the answer why I’ve never been yet jealous to him…

I know that he checks my hand phone and my face book account regularly; and it isn’t a problem at all, because I’ve never hidden anything or done ‘stupid’ things behind his back. I know that he also believes me 100%. He said,” I believe in you; I just want to protect you from others that may annoy and tempt you”.

So, actually, until now, I can enjoy his jealousy; even though he forbids me going shopping at the mall by myself. He always says,” I don’t like you’re leaving alone; I’m afraid someone will annoy you there. Let me accompany you”. Because now he’s very busy at the restaurant, I seldom go to the mall; just shopping at nearby little stores or factory outlets.

I realize that the aim of his jealousy is to protect me. Having written this jealousy thing makes me want to hear again the song “Jealousy” (Freddy Mercury –Queen). But the lyrics don’t describe us at all, just like the melody; because I love my hubby’s jealousy, he’s my truly body guard, ha ha ha….

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Poisoned Relationship (3)

It’s the last post of poisoned relationship topic.

Third condition: “I want to rule you”

It’s a message that stated by a person that categorized as a ‘bossy’. Different with the ‘difficult’ person, the ‘bossy’ person used to take over all responsibilities. If this person is in your team work; she/he will ask opinion to every team member; and then suddenly she/he steps forward and admits these opinions as her/his own opinion.

It is unpleasant situation for the victims who have original opinions/ideas. But, this ‘bossy’ person is so clever to manipulate others, so, the victims can’t be protest. This person usually has the ability to influence others; therefore, she/he often becomes a leader.

The ‘bossy’ persons don’t realize that what they do make others stressful. With their charm and cleverness, they continuously pull their manipulated victims to facilitate them in achieving their own wants. They can make others look bad or ‘stupid’; and she/he is the best.

How to face the ‘bossy’ person?

• If she/he involve in the same team work; don’t answer the questions. If the ‘bossy’ is your superior, seek a way to keep your idea safe with you.


• Don’t pay attention if she/he tells about rumor or someone’s badness.


• Speak out your objection straightly. Convince yourself that you’ve done the right thing.


• If your objection doesn’t have enough attention, and her/his behavior burdens you continuously; do the detox. Stop seeing her/him or take a distance. If the bossy person is your parents or your spouse; find a reason to stay away for awhile. You need a rest!
  

Rewrite source: Nirmala magazine and google

The picture is taken from open.salon.com

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Couple's Corner : Kiss and Make Up / Reconcile

It's my first Couple's Corner. In Couple's Corner, we're sharing our stories about things that may happen in a married couple's life. Happy reading...

If many couples have lots of similarities, we don’t. My hubby and I have many differences in habits and characters; and we’ve truly known it. Before we decided to unite in a marriage, we’ve already realized that our differences can become the cause of the misunderstandings in our future relationship.

Therefore, we made commitments to prepare at first our own kiss and make up ways from every miscommunication / conflict / misunderstanding that possibly happen. Here are our ways:

• We have our reconcilement signs. If we’re in the middle of a misunderstanding and one of us is pointing forward the bended little finger, the other isn’t allowed to reject the reconcilement invitation. This funny way can always break the ice; and it becomes a good start to communicate heart by heart.
• Before going to bed every night, we have a habit to

forgive one another to start a brand new day tomorrow. During our seven years marriage life, because of our big differences, we’ve experienced misunderstandings several times; but all are little ones that can be solved in a short time. We’ve never keeping quiet for days; because we must ask for apologize every night! So, this way really works for us…

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Poisoned Relationship (2)

In the first post of this poisoned relationship topic, I’ve mentioned the first condition that can happen in an unhealthy relationship. Today I’ll step forward to the second condition. Remember again the big point: Stop Being a Victim! You must take the right step to get out of a poisoned relationship.

Second condition: “You all must be responsible for my happiness”
 

It’s a message that stated by a person that categorized as a ‘complainer’. Though it doesn’t straightly stated, this negative thinker often blames others; but rejecting to be responsible and do the self-change. They tend to generalize all cases as negative things.

Consorting with the complainer is so tiring; they suck your positive energy! Little problems can become big ones that he/she feels need to be complained. You, who listen to all complaints will feel ought to make this person happy, as the time goes by, every time you hear the complaint, you will feel the increasing burden that you must receive.

The complainer may look weak, but like the intimidator at the first condition, this person has the power to manipulate other’s feeling. They use ‘their weakness’ to force others to do what they want and need.

How to face the complainer? Here is the practical guidance for you:

• If the complainer always annoys you; stop being a victim by ignoring all complaints. Tell the complainer that the problem will be solved if he/she has a will to change.

• Tell the complainer that happiness doesn’t depend on anybody. To be happy or not is her/his own choice.
  
  Even though you feel sorry for him/her, ignore the complainer for awhile. Praise him/her if the complainer has tried to fix the condition by his/her own effort.

Rewrite source:Nirmala magazine and google
The picture is taken from positivesharing.com

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