Couple’s Corner: Most Irritating/Annoying Habits for Both

In my opinion, this week’s topic of Couple’s Corner is a funny one. If you have chosen one man as your partner in a marriage bond, you should be able to accept all his annoying habits. The funny part is, no matter how angry you are because of it, you still love your husband…

As a couple, we aren’t perfect. Well, no body’s perfect, right? I’m not perfect, neither does my hubby. Each of us has annoying habits; but I don’t want to mention my bad habits here, hehehe. In this post, I’ll mention some of his habits that irritate me much, but as I said before, it won’t decrease my love to my hubby…

• I really hate his smoking habit! You might ask why I got married with a smoker then. What I can say, love isn’t a logical thing, right? Until now, he still can’t stop this habit, but while he’s smoking, I don’t want nearing him.
• Having taken a bath, he always put his wet towel on the bed.
• Having cooked in a kitchen, he always left a kitchen in a mess and let me do the cleaning by myself.
• He annoys me often with his silly acts. When I’m in a bath room, he likes to put off the light. When we’re watching a scary movie, he likes to make me surprise with dropping something to floor. When I’m writing an article for my blogs, he likes to annoy me with asking many silly questions, etc.

He actually has other annoying habits, but I’m afraid this post will be too long, hehehe. If you want to read other’s funny annoying habits, visit the site by clicking the CC badge above.

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Should Parents Compromise with Their Chidren? (2)

Dear you all, recently I’ve got technical problem. My computer is still malfunction, and now still being serviced. It may take several days to settle the problem. To my visitors, I’m so sorry if I haven’t yet visited you again…

Now back to this post. It’s the last post of compromise topic. What’s the difference between compromise and surrender? Compromise is very different from surrender. Compromise doesn't mean any old concession on your child's part will do.

It is your responsibility as parents to set up proper parameters of compromise and to hold your child to those parameters. If after offering the above compromise your child throws a tantrum, and you then agree to do your shopping in the afternoon but in return your child has to clean his/her room, you have surrendered.

When you first try to reach a compromise with your child, you must very clearly from the start identify those areas which are nonnegotiable. If there is room for compromise on an issue; it usually develops when both your child's separate and common interests and yours are discussed.

If you don't ask why your child want something to happen differently, or explain to her/him why you think something should happen in a particular way, it will be difficult to achieve a win–win compromise.

How to say a proper compromise to your child? The language you use is important, here is the guidance:

• You shouldn't say, "if you do this I will do that". This is manipulative and will probably come back to bite you one day as you are teaching your child the tactics of manipulation.
• However, if you say something like "if we do it this way, we can both get what we want". This teaches your child that there may be a solution in the middle that everyone can live with.

How about the limit? Yes, there is a limit. Too much compromise can also teach your child to manipulate. Your arguments need to be relevant. If you try to justify your demands with layers of argument, you are just teaching her/him to try reason after reason.

While it is important for your child to learn to reason and present a good case for what he/she wants, it is also important for your child to understand when no means no. It remains your responsibility to teach her/him how to cope successfully with the disappointment of not getting her/his own way and understanding that she/he will not always be able to control all of the events in her/his lives.

Rewrite source: brainy-child.com and google

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Couple’s Corner : Can You Read My Mind?

Do couples have the ability to read each other mind? I don’t know for sure about this before. Because of my curiosity, I browsed to find more information.

Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist from UCLA, assumed that a mind reading ability as an ability to make a perception of other’s mind by interpreting the given clues (consciously or not). He named it mindsight, or an ability of brain to make a map of other’s mental condition. William Ickes from University of Texas gave the other concept; he mentioned it as Empathic Accuracy, an ability to feel precisely what other feels.

Every one actually has this ability, include children. It isn’t easy to read other’s mind. The accuracy rate of mind reading between best friends or couples is about only 35%, but they said that the ability can be trained more.

How is the process of mind reading? There are two approaches that complement each other: the help of our five senses and human ability to catch the emotional frequency of a person nearby.

Though the studies said that the accuracy rate of mind reading between couples is only about 35 %, I realize that I truly experienced it. As a couple, of course, we have a close relationship and a strong emotional bond. Having known well my hubby’s characters, personalities and preferences, when we face any situation, I sometimes can guess correctly what his reaction will be, what he’s thinking about and what he’s going to say. It happens vice versa.

But still he can’t read my mind and I also can’t read his completely. That’s why misunderstandings still happen in our relationship. That’s why we apply open communication. If we can read mind one another accurately, we can seldom talk, hehehe…

But I believe that the same frequency of our emotion (or whatever else) connects us. This situation happens to us often: He’s outside (at his workplace or other place), and suddenly I’m thinking about him. Commonly, a few minute later, he calls me and says, “Hay, what’s up? I suddenly remember you…”

This is my story, if you want to know other’s story about this interesting topic, you can click the badge above.

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New Year Resolution

This post is a tag that is given by Risma, the owner of lovely blogs : mommy mayonnaise, blog perempuan rumahan and cerita film. Thanks for tagging me, Risma…

Actually, I’ve never make any resolution on every New Year before, or just thinking at a glance about it. So, this is my first time. Well, there is always the first time for everything, right?

Of course, first, I should say that I feel so grateful for everything that I have had in this year. What is my resolution for next year? I realize that I still have to do some self improvements. I still have several bad habits that I should change and I also have to change my bad character, or at least decrease it. I’m a stubborn woman. My hubby has often complained about this, my stubbornness.

I think I’ll write down a list about things that I have to change. It seems that the list will be long enough, hehehe. It doesn’t matter at all, because I want to be a better person. One more thing, I’ll also rewrite my vision book. I wrote down all my wishes there. I hope things that I have wished for and it isn’t achieved this year, it will happen next year. Wish Allah answer my prayers…

Dear all, this post is also my last post in this year. See you in 2010; hope all the goodness will always be with us. Happy New Year 2010, everyone…

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