Codependent Relationships with an Addicted Loved One

>> Dec 15, 2018



Watching a family member or loved one struggle with addiction can be extremely difficult and emotionally taxing. More often than not, we feel responsible for protecting the people we love. In the case of drug addiction, however, this protection can cross into the territory of codependency and enabling, which only puts you and your loved ones safety and well being at risk.

What is codependency?

The impact of substance abuse on the well-being of families can lead to stressful factors such as financial security and a diminished sense of self worth to those whom addiction touches. When a family member is struggling with addiction, codependent relationships commonly occur. Codependency is defined as a relationship in which one person is controlled or manipulated by another who is suffering from a condition, such as addiction or alcoholism.

In this type of relationship, you may feel like it is your responsibility to care for the emotions and actions of your loved one. For example, if a loved one insists on driving to the liquor store while drunk, a codependent person may take on the responsibility of driving this person to the store to prevent them from getting a DWI. In addition, if this person does get a DWI, the codependent person may feel obligated to bail this person out of jail instead of letting them face their own consequences.

If you are participating in a codependent relationship, you may find yourself experiencing feelings of diminished self-worth, anger, and uselessness. You may feel like you are being used and unappreciated because you are doing so many things to keep your loved one safe, but they may disregard any or all of your actions. Not only does this type of relationship harm you, but it also enables your loved one to continue abusing substances.

What does enabling an addict look like?

Codependency and enabling go hand in hand. If you have ever found yourself telling lies for your loved one, such as calling into their work making excuses as to why they cannot show up for their job, you are enabling your loved one to continue drinking or doing drugs without facing any consequences.

Enabling also looks like providing your loved one with money and shelter without them giving anything in return. This is not limited to finances and shelter, but it includes doing anything for the person that they are capable of doing for themselves. Enablers may also place the other person’s needs ahead of their own, have difficulty expressing their own emotions, and blame other people or situations for behaviors of an addict.

You might see that your loved one is hurting and want to shower them with love and support, but people in active addiction will only manipulate that love to use it to their own advantage. This kind of behavior can lead to fierce resentments on your part, which only harms you in the long run.

How do I help my loved one?

After recognizing that you are involved in a codependent relationship, you must take steps to end this codependency and cease to enable your loved one who is abusing substances. This involves showing the addict tough love.

If your loved one does get a DWI or does not go in for work, do not bail him or her out of the situation. It may hurt to do this, but it is essential to ending these enabling behaviors. Remember, it is not your responsibility to lie for them. Sometimes, facing extreme consequences is the only way an addict or alcoholic will choose to seek help for their problem. When a person with the disease of addiction realizes that people have set boundaries and will no longer enable them to use drugs or alcohol, they usually become fearful of losing their family and are more likely to take actions to get sober.

You must stick to these boundaries once they are firmly set in place. If the addict learns that you will eventually give in to their needs, they will begin to manipulate you into protecting them once again. If you stick to your boundaries, the addict may eventually accept help that you can offer him or her. You can then begin to help by referring your loved one to a treatment center, outpatient counseling services or a twelve step fellowship when they are ready to accept the help.
 
Cassidy Webb is an avid writer from South Florida.  She works for a digital marketing company that advocates spreading awareness on the disease of addiction. Her passion in life is to help others by sharing her experience, strength, and hope.

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10 Indoor Christmas Decorating Ideas

>> Dec 14, 2018



Christmas is well, we can freely say, a magical time of the year. People are in general in a much better mood, everything is colorful and richly decorated. There are so many indoor Christmas decorating ideas that we are not really sure where to begin. We will try to single out the best ideas and we hope you will use some of them!
Christmas decorations help create a festive spirit / Christmas ornaments

Indoor Christmas Decorating Ideas for your dining room


So, we will start with one of the most important rooms in the house. This is a place where you will have your Christmas dinner, so it is pretty important to be nicely decorated.
     Garlands- this is one of the best ideas since you can use your imagination and creativity. You can put one green garland over the chandelier and one you can put on the table. You can use pinecones, candles, and different decorations. You can put bows, maybe red and silver Christmas ornaments.
     Christmas plates - this idea is really great and interesting. But above that, it is easy to make. You need all the things that you already have at your home. You will need one red or white plate, a big round one. And, while we are at this subject - one of the great things you can do for Christmas is preparing some rather unique dishes -like crepes. You can treat yourself and your family with this. Now, back to the subject - use that big round plate and put wine glasses upside down. In the glasses themselves, you can put Christmas ornaments, fake snow or whatever you want! And on the top, you can place candles. This can even be your centerpiece for the Christmas dinner!
The dinner table for Christmas can look great with decorations!

Don’t forget your kitchen!


When it comes to the kitchen, you know that you will be spending a lot of time there preparing the meals for Christmas dinner. So, why not decorate it a little bit? There are a couple of things that you can do to cheer up the space!
     Garlands - yes, you can use garlands again. You can place them at the top of your kitchen counters and decorate them with Christmas ornaments. You can add Christmas lights as well since they can lighten up the place!
     Small Christmas tree - you can try to find a little Christmas tree and put it in some corner of your kitchen. It can have a little bit of fake snow, which can add to the whole impression.
     Christmas mugs and plates –you probably stored these, as well as the Christmas tree, but it is time to bring them back. One little Santa mug or something of the kind will make your kitchen very festive! If you don't have any, it is time for shopping! You can find great discounts online and in the store at this time of year!
Decorating your kitchen will bring out the Christmas spirit

Living room - family room


When it comes to the living room, you know that what is most important is getting a nice and big Christmas tree. And, don’t be afraid to go big, since you can always store all the Christmas decorations. You just need a reliable company that can offer you a good deal. After all, you are making a long-term deal and you need the best price, which you can get at Capital City Movers NYC. They are professionals who will make sure that your Christmas comes back next year, and all of your belongings will be in the same state they were when you left them.
     Christmas tree – so, as we mentioned, you should buy a nice, big tree that will bring that unique festive spirit. You can decorate it however you want, it is all up to you. Our general advice is to include your whole family into decorating it and make a family tradition of it!
Decorating the Christmas tree can be a family tradition
     Christmas decorations– well, this is something that you can get in any store or maybe make by yourself. You can buy pillows with Santa, or you can buy little Santa. All of these ideas are some of the best indoor Christmas decorating ideas, so don't be afraid to add your personal touch to them and make them even better. Decorate your living room with pillows, candles, garlands - it is all up to you!

 

Bedroom - should you decorate it?


Well, our honest advice is yes. We know that this is a lot of Christmas decorations, but you can use storage units to store everything that you don't need after Christmas is over.Maybe, you can also add a small Christmas tree to your bedroom - or you can buy little Santa figurines and place them on your nightstands. Also, you should decorate your kids’ room(if you have kids).

But, if you are decorating your kids’ room - you should do it with them. You can draw a snowman and put some Christmas lights in their rooms. Or, you can also use garlands. And,you can even buy balloons in the shape of Santa. There is nothing better than Christmas spirit, and your kids should feel it!
Always include your kids in decorating their room for Christmas

Decorations throughout the house


Well, when it comes to this you can also use your imagination. We can advise you to pay attention to little details. For example, if you have pets, make sure to decorate their corner as well. Maybe you can buy them some festive toy. After all, they are part of the family that makes you happy most of the time. In the hallways, you can put some Christmas lights or some garlands. Garlands are a very important part of the whole decoration process!
Don’t forget your pets and make their Christmas festive as well.
The final touch

The final touch is your front door. You really shouldn't forget to decorate it as well. You should use a nice holiday wreath. You can buy it, or make it by yourself. It is completely up to you and your imagination. You can use garlands to create a wreath and put red bows, pinecones, Christmas ornaments and give it your personal touch! After all, Christmas is a festive time of the year, so enjoy it and make sure that you and your family love all the decorations!

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A Few Ways For Seniors To Stay Healthy, Active, And Alert



There comes a time in our lives when it is time to enjoy what is left in our lives. We don't want to burden ourselves with stress, especially if we have serious health conditions. As a senior citizen, I want to stay healthy, alert and active. Places like www.pegasusseniorliving.com are also a great way to find a community that understands and supports people of our age.

Image:www.pegasusseniorliving.com

Health Tips

Just because we are in our senior years, it doesn't mean we have to stop thinking about our health. I know you're probably thinking, "because of the medications I take, at times I get tired and depressed. I don't want to just take pills every day as the focal point of my day." Many seniors feel this way, so you are not alone. One health tip is to eat healthy. Since digestion slows down as we age, it is recommended to consume food that is high in fiber. Fruits such as bananas, oranges, strawberries, and mangos are high in fiber. Carrots, beets, artichoke, and Brussel sprouts are a few examples of vegetables that are high in fiber as well. By consuming high-fiber food, it will help us digest our food a little better. In turn, we are keeping healthy, while uplifting our mood, by eating delicious food. Another health tip is to socialize. I know some of us would rather be in our rooms watching television or reading a book in peace and quiet. However, socializing can also make improvements in our mood and overall health. Talk with your family members or talk with dear old friends, even if it's just for a few minutes. Socializing can keep our minds active.

Being Healthy and Alert

Staying healthy and alert is key in living an active lifestyle. We should consult with health professionals so that they can give us advice on how to stay active and alert. One way to stay alert is to have our vision checked frequently. We don't want to add any additional strain on our eyes, especially if we are reading a book or doing our exercises. By having our vision checked, we can make sure that we are prescribed a comfortable and correct pair of glasses. By doing so, seeing as clearly as possible will help us stay alert. Another recommendation is to change our routine from day to day. Perhaps you normally read in the morning then take naps throughout the day. Maybe you like to do a bit of laundry in the afternoon. Switching up the routine and doing them in a different order can help our minds stay active and alert.

Children

Many of our children have become adults and many of us have grandchildren. When we can, we go visit them to see how they are doing and to spend time with them. Talk with your children about ways to help out around their home when you go visit them. It will give us the needed exercise while proactively finding a way to stay active. Whatever you do to help around the house, it is best to not over exert yourself. It is best to give ourselves rest periods throughout the day and to just relax and not worry about things we can do at a later time.

Senior Living

If the time comes when we can no longer be left alone in our homes and require day to day assistance, senior living may be an option for some of us. Normally at a senior living community, we are surrounded by senior citizens who also want to remain healthy, active, and alert. Some of the benefits of living in a senior community include daily activities. Daily activities, such as dances, games, and overall community socializing will help promote an active and healthy senior lifestyle. It is highly recommended to seek out a senior community that can provide exceptional quality in service to maintain a safe and supportive environment.

In everything we do today, it is important to remember that we have aged. It is important to accept this so that we can seek medical advice for ourselves. Health professionals will be able to give advice and provide the necessary care we need for our overall health. Remember, stay active by doing daily activities, stay healthy by eating healthy food, and stay alert by getting our visions checked frequently. Please also remember to give yourself some rest and to not overexert yourself during daily activities.

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About This Blog and Me!

Welcome to my blog. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
This blog contains articles in family topic.
Contact me at linalg4@gmail.com

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