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Build Your Child’s Good Moral Character from Home! (2)

>> Aug 30, 2009

Before mentioning the following tips on how to build good moral character of your child, there is something that you must consider first before applying these tips. Yes, you should consider your child’s age. The ability of your child to comprehend the life values very depends on your child’s age:

1st stage: 0–5 years old
During this age range, children focus all action on themselves only. They still aren’t able yet to differentiate whether is right or wrong. Their mind set is very simple and plain. Ex: “I really want that toy, so, it won’t be wrong if I take it. Furthermore, if I don’t take it now, other will take it for me”. When trying to teach your child good values, you must repeat and repeat it again. Be patient and gentle!

2nd stage: 5-8 years old
Children begin to understand ethics and can differentiate between the right and the wrong deed. Ex: He will feel guilty if he takes thing which it doesn’t belong to him.
3rd stage: 8-12 years old 
Children decide on whether something is right or wrong base on what they hear from their parents, teachers and other authority figures. Children learn to know rules and law more seriously.

4th stage: above 13 years old
Children begin to apply values that they have received all this time, include the main principles such as ‘people should care one another’ and ‘the faith is above all’. They hate hypocrisy and parents’ platitude.

Moms and dads, here are the following tips for you:

11. Teach your child to save and choose things by reuse, reduce and recycle.
Let your child to store some used things such as cans, bottles and attractive cardboard boxes. Build her/his creativity and nature-love. Motivate your child to find fresh ideas in reusing the seconds.

12. Teach your child the importance of repeating the kindness.

13. Introduce the emotions to your child.Build his/her emotional intelligence. Don’t forget to let your child know various emotions. You may say,” I know you feel so sad right now”, “It’s okay to express your anger, but…”, “That girl looks so lonely, isn’t she?” etc.

14. Give the compliment every time she/he takes the initiative to do a good thing.
A gentle tap on shoulder, a gentle caress on hair or a warm hug will impress your child.

15. Teach your child to make an effort to achieve a realistic goal. Ex: if your child wants to have a toy that he’s seen on the store, ask him to save money every day to buy it. You can add his money later; but the lesson is he must ‘work’ first.

16. Introduce and explain the importance of giving a vote to your child. Take your child to a leader election event in your area.

17. Watch inspiring and educative movies / television program together. Discuss it and ask your child’s opinion on every main character in the movie.

18. Take your child to welcome a new neighbor or a new family member. Show your happiness by giving a gift to new comers.

19. Show your greatness of heart to your child; show them how you can solve the problem well. If you and your spouse have an argument; you should avoid yelling, blaming or insulting in the front of your child. You must find the best way to compromise and settle the problem soon.

20. Give your child a chance to repair his/her mistakes. Praise your child if he/she doesn’t make the same mistake again.

Read the following tips...


Build Your Child’s Good Moral Character from Home!

>> Aug 26, 2009

Moral character building is the big task of parents. Children also learn good values at school, but I believe that parents should have the biggest role in building the good moral character of their children. Every parents hope their child will grow up to be a successful person with good moral character; but in achieving this goal, sometimes parents do mistakes.
So, moms and dads, I will mention here 50 tips on how to build good moral character of your child. Cause the tips are quite a lot, I will divide it into several postings. I hope these guidance will help you!

  1. Build your child’s faith in God since the early age. Teach them the noble lessons of your religious belief and take your child to pray at the place of worship regularly. Bagi para Muslim, bulan Ramadhan seperti saat ini adalah saat yang tepat untuk lebih menanamkan ajaran agama ke anak Anda, tentunya disesuaikan dengan usia anak ya. Ajarkan Asma'ul Husna sejak dini, jadikan sebagai salah satu acuan dalam membangun karakter baik pada anak Anda. Sebagai orang tua, Anda wajib membangun pondasi iman yang kuat pada anak Anda!

  2. Several polite words.
    Teach your child to always use several magic words such as thank you, please, May I …, etc. Give the straight guidance on how and when to use these words. Your child will be used to speak politely; including if your child asks something.

  3. Teach your child how to socialize.
    Make ‘a little party’ for your toddler at home. Ask your child to invite his/her ‘closest’ friends, including the favorite dolls/toys and pet. Give the example how to make a friendly conversation and ask your child to follow it. If you think he/she is already prepared, take your child to your big family gathering or any other community event in your neighborhood.

  4. Teach your child how to take care of things. You can give your child something alive that she/he must participate in taking care of it such as a plant or a pet (fish, cat, dog). Your child will learn more about the responsibility here.

  5. Show your honesty to your child. As parents, you should try to answer all your child’s questions with honesty. Children will imitate parents. Be careful, children have sensitive feeling; they will know if you lie.

  6. Appreciate your child’s belongings. Respect your child as an owner. You should ask permission everytime you want to take, use or even throw his/her things.

  7. Teach your child to respect others. Tell your child not to differentiate his/her friends. Respecting others (not include strangers) can also be done by saying polite words and showing polite behavior. Don’t forget to remind your child to still alert for strangers.

  8. Have a little chat and read a story before your child is going to bed every night. You may ask a few simple questions such as “What is the best thing and what is the worst thing that you’ve been through during this day?” Let your child evaluate himself/herself. Be a good listener; don’t cut his/her words. If the time is right, you may enter by giving good values to your child. Read a story is also a recommended way to giving good values. The point is you have to choose the appropriate book that contains educative matters.

  9. Give the Best Family Member Award to the winner every week.
    You may apply this contest at your home. The winner is the family member who appraised as the most helpful and caring to other family member during the week. Be creative, set your own contest terms (who can be the participant and the appraiser, and what are the appraisal criteria).

  10. Play the game: If I … I will …
    You ask questions that your child must answer to complement it.
    The wanted goal is your child can respond every question with applying good values. Don’t ask too many questions in one occasion; it won’t be fun anymore.

    You say,” If I have lots of cookies…” Your child may answer, “I’ll share it with my friends”You may say,” If I see my toys are all over the floor…”
    “If I see my friend is crying…”
    “If I have broken my friend’s ruler…”
    “If I must stand in a long queue to get my lunch…”
    “If I get thirsty…”

    If your child shows inappropriate reaction; guide him/her how to respond well to the situation and repeat the same question. Don’t forget to praise your child for every appropriate response!

    rewrite source : tabloid Nova


How to Connect with Your Unborn Baby

>> Aug 20, 2009

In my previous post, I mentioned that parents can communicate with their pre-verbal child with applying baby sign language. How about your unborn child? Can parents connect with them? Scientific evidence shows that from the fifth month, the unborn baby in mom’s uterus is able to hear sound, be aware of motion and possibly exhibit short-term memory. Several studies also describe facts that the unborn baby can become familiar with mom’s and dad’s voices.
Since the unborn baby can hear, you can be early parents by connecting every day with your unborn baby in the womb. It should be done with you and your spouse together. Your unborn baby will get benefit greatly from regularly gentle and loving connection from you.
There are some connecting says that you can use:
We know you are there”,
“We know that you are having your own experience”,
“We know that you are affected by how we feel”,
“We are listening to you”
“We love you very much

Your unborn baby’s environment is most influenced by his/her mom. Everything mom feels, your unborn baby will feel too. That’s why it’s important for a mom to feel relaxed, supported and happy during her pregnancy. But in fact, it’s not easy to maintain happy feeling all the time. Stress, sadness, anger and other negative emotions can happen in our daily life. At these times, it’s important to connect with your unborn baby; tell her/him about what is happening. You should explain that your unborn baby didn’t cause it, it’s not his/her fault and it’s nothing to do with him/her.
You may say something like these:
Mom is processing some feelings right now and they aren’t about you”

If you and your spouse were just having an argument; you should connect to your unborn baby and say:
Mom and dad are having an argument and it’s not about you, not caused by you. We just want to work some stuff out together”

Even if mom has a very painful emotional upset during pregnancy, mom should keep the channel open to the unborn baby. By keeping the channel open, mom can bond to her unborn baby and this bond will help to offset any disturbances during pregnancy.

Not only mom cause she carries the baby inside her, dad is also very important. Baby need dad just as much, and after birth, baby will respond to dad’s voice; baby know who he is. Due to Dr. Wirth’s research, if the unborn baby in mom’s womb has been exposed to dad’s voice by dad's actively communicating; after birth, the baby will recognize dad’s voice and respond it. Dad’s role in connecting with the unborn baby, supporting and protecting mom during the pregnancy will create a wonderful bonding that can also contribute to a wonderful birth for mom.

There are many ways you can connect and bond with your unborn baby. Patting mom's stomach, singing, telling or reading stories, telling baby what you are doing or where you are going in your daily life, and dancing. One of the wonderful activities you can enjoy with your unborn baby is listening to music together. Studies have shown that babies love classical music, particularly Baroque.

Baby may respond by moving and kicking, and you can come to know what your baby’s different kinds of kicking mean; are they angry kicks, or excited kicks? Bagi Anda yang Muslim, alangkah baiknya jika Anda sedari dini memperdengarkan indahnya lantunan ayat suci Al Qur’an dengan banyak mengaji selama masa kehamilan atau mendengarkannya bersama bayi Anda.
Rewrite source: Bonding with Your Unborn Child by Karen Melton


Why Not Signing with Your Baby?

>> Aug 15, 2009

  • If you don’t want to create your own signs; there are some free tools that you can use :
    baby sign language cards / pictures at
    sign with me.
  • online sign dictionary : born 2 sign.
    It contains more than 100 words that each word is displayed with the video to show you how to sign it. Born 2 sign will help you a lot!

  • Bagaimana cara mengajarkan bahasa isyarat kepada bayi Anda?
    • Ini sangat penting: selalu ucapkan setiap kata yang Anda isyaratkan dengan tangan. Ajak anak Anda untuk menirunya.
    • Sabar ya, jadikan suasana belajar jadi menyenangkan.
    • Anda bisa berkreasi dengan membuat bahasa isyarat sendiri.
    • Mulailah dengan kata-kata sederhana (susu, selesai, nambah).
    • Puji setiap usaha anak.
    • Ajarkan juga bahasa isyarat ini ke seluruh anggota keluarga dan pengasuhnya sehingga bayi Anda bisa berkomunikasi dengan seluruh penghuni rumah.
    • Jika Anda tidak ingin membuat isyarat sendiri; ada beberapa alat bantu yang bisa digunakan: petunjuk gambar bahasa isyarat bayi di sign with me dan kamus bahasa isyarat online born 2 sign. Kamus ini berisi lebih dari 100 kata; setiap kata disertai dengan video petunjuk cara membuat isyarat tangannya.
    Selamat mencoba…


    When Parents Make Mistakes

    >> Aug 10, 2009

    Hi, parents, when you make mistakes to your children, do you ask forgiveness from them? There are still some people have an opinion that asking forgiveness is a sign of weakness and only emphasizing the mistakes. Do you realize that asking forgiveness actually shows the greatness of your heart?

    Why some parents don’t want to ask forgiveness? The answers may vary. Some adults think that they have never done wrong, even though they have made a wrong decision, spanked or snapped at their child. Some parents may feel guilty; but they don’t want to admit it and ask forgiveness because these parents want to keep their face safe in front of their child. For them, admitting the mistakes will only show their weakness.

    Sometimes parents forget that the house rules aren’t only for the children, but also for the whole family members, include the parents. As parents, we always say to our child,” When you make mistakes, you should feel sorry and apologize”. So, when you make mistakes to your child, why don’t you apologize? By asking forgiveness to your own child, you’ve given them the right example.

    As ordinary human, it’s a normal thing that parents make mistakes. The important thing is don’t let it ruining your relationship with your child. You must remember that the children have sensitive feelings and good memories; every bad thing that you’ve done to them will be carried until their adult times.

    You may still worry; is apologizing can eliminate the parents’ authority? No, it won’t if you do it in the right way; that’s why you should know the appropriate ways to ask forgiveness from your child:

    • Admit your mistakes. Forget the feeling embarrassed; you must keep your warm relationship with your child first. By admitting your mistakes, your child will feel treated fairly and it’s also an important thing in asking forgiveness.

    • Be sincere. Your child will know whether you ask forgiveness sincerely or not. If you just pretending, you’ll loose their trust.

    • Be calm. It’s not a wise thing if you asking forgiveness while you’re still in a bad emotion. Make yourself calm first. Tell your child that you need times to be alone and will continue the conversation later.

    • Use the straight words. You should remember that you asking forgiveness for what you have just done such as yelling, saying harsh words, making wrong decision, etc.

    • Don’t blame your child. Don’t you ever say like this,” If you’re not lazy, I wouldn’t angry with you”. It’s not apologizing; in fact, you make the condition more badly.

    • Say “Would you forgive me?”. After admitting your mistake, ask straightly whether she or he will forgive you. This dialogue will ease you and your child will learn how to repair the relationship. Don’t forget to hug each other!

    • Evaluate. Invite your child to discuss about how to solve the problem properly. Make a deal on what things that should do if the same problem happens again later.

    • Don’t do the same mistake. After receiving the forgiveness, you should remember not doing it again. Asking forgiveness several times for the same mistake will make you untrustworthy.

    • Don’t be exaggerating. It’s not a wise thing if you ask forgiveness too often, it will make you loose your authority. Do it if you truly make mistakes!
    Your child need to know that you are not perfect; you can make mistakes like they do. They also need for you to show them how to make things right so they can do the same when they do wrong thing.


    Family-Safe Internet (4)

    >> Aug 5, 2009

    As I mentioned in my previous Family-Safe Internet posts, there are several methods that parents can applied to protect children from bad information in internet. One of the methods is installing Internet Content Filter Software to the computer at your home or to the server of computers at schools and libraries. These softwares will block and filter internet contents that contain bad information for children such as pornography, violence, harsh and dirty words, drugs, crime; dating, escort and chating services, etc.

    Besides K9 Web Protection that I’ve referred before; in this post I’ll mention other helpful free internet content filter softwares for you.

    AX2 The Internet Bad Content Blocker Alpha 1 (.zip)

    Terima kasih untuk Sobat Anggy yang telah menginformasikan software ini. Internet Bad Content Blocker yang merupakan karya mahasiswa STIE Pengembangan Bisnis dan Manajemen ini dapat memproteksi dampak buruk dari penggunaan internet (pornografi, SARA, kekerasan dan dampak buruk lain).

    Jika Anda ingin memasang software ini di komputer Anda, silakan download saja langsung ke sumbernya : STIE PBM (klik banner downloadnya di side bar sebelah kanan).

    Norton Online Family

    Symantec also tries to offer the transparent protection for children while using internet. This software can be downloaded from onlinefamily.norton.com - it’s FREE until January 1st, 2010! You should straightly download from the site because they require your personal data and also your child’s data.
    As parents, what advantages you can get by using Norton Online Family?
    • you can determine the forbidden sites for your child
    • once you submit your child’s age, the software will determine the sites that appropriate with your child
    • you can set the time limit of using the computer
    • you will receive notification e-mail regularly
    • if your child tries to access the forbidden site, the reminder notification will appear and the system will get your child out of it
    • if your child continues to access the forbidden site, you will be informed by e-mail
    • the software gives you the statistic of your child’s activities with computer. This data can be a discussion matter with your child.
    Procon Latte (Mozilla add-ons)
    ProCon is a content filter for the Firefox browser created by Corvineum, and based on BlockXXX (by Tom Christensen). ProCon filters any type of content on any web page. If left on default, ProCon limits itself to filter pages containing explicit content automatically, based on the text. ProCon can also be used as a profanity filter.

    Procon comes with a list of blocked words and website. You can specify your own white list. This tool can filter any kind of material such as pornography, gambling, hacking, cracking and more. It can also block all traffic, making sure that only desired websites (set in white list) can be accessed. Procon also comes with password protection feature to keep others from changing the settings. Do you want to try it?

    download the Procon Latte (Mozilla Add-ons)


    Let’s Hug!

    >> Aug 1, 2009

    In this post I just want to describe a little bit about the necessity of hugging habit in our family. Hugging is a healthy thing! We need touches and it is needed often. But sometimes we are afraid of being rejected; so we prefer to hug babies and pets…

    Why is it necessary to build a hugging habit in your family?
    • a medicinal expert said that we need more than just hugging our baby and pets; we need to hug each other
    • Dr. Harold Falk, a psychiatrist from Menninger Foundation, said,” Hugging can get you up from depression and increase the body immune system. Hugs will blow wind of life to the exhausted bodies and it will make you feel younger and more enthusiastic
    • there’s a hug recipe from Dr. Bresler of UCLA Clinic: Get hug four times a day; in the morning, in the afternoon, at dinner time and before going to bed. It will make you much better!
    • Helen Colton, the author of The Pleasure of Touches, explained that hemoglobin in our blood will increase significantly every time you are touched and hugged. Hemoglobin takes oxygen from brain, heart and whole body; so hugging is truly an important thing
    Some families might have already had this hugging habit; but I think some families might haven’t yet applied this. There are some reasons why they don’t hug their families: not used to express their emotion, feeling awkward, feeling embarrassed, family background effect, etc.

    You may ever hear someone said,”I don’t like to hug, it’s too shameful for me”. Ok, but it’s still probable for her or him to change into a person who can hug others. He doesn’t need to hug everyone he knows; he should hug his wife and children first, and someone can learn doing this.

    How to hug your family?
    • you can keep talking when hugging; it won’t ruin the moment
    • where you place your hands is not important
    • press gently; it isn’t necessary to have head-contact
    • don’t hug too tightly
    • don’t let go too early. If your spouse or child feels upset or down, they may need a long, loving hug
    • smile when letting go
    Don’t be shy to hug your family. A hug is a good way to express our affection to our beloved ones and it’s good for health too, mentally and physically. Let’s spread warmth and comfort at home…

    rewrite source: Making Friends by Andrew Mathews


    About This Blog and Me!

    Welcome to my blog. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
    This blog contains articles in family topic.
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