Teachergive Sale 2023

Teachergive Sale 2023

Watch Out for the Danger Signs in Your Marriage!

>> Sep 28, 2009

When we say,” I do” on our wedding day, of course, we’re dreaming of living in a happy marriage life; but sometimes life doesn’t go on as we want it to be, right? We all know that marriage life has its ups and downs; but how if you begin to feel: there’s something wrong, there’s something hurts you or there’s something that makes you uncomfortable, and you don’t know what exactly it is...

A broken marriage may start from a problem that let unsolved for along time. You can’t ignore any problem. No matter what small a problem is, it can be the discomfort source in your relationship. Moreover, it can lead to negative thinking such as a desire to divorce (oh, no!). Knowing from the beginning the danger signs in a marriage will help you a lot. You can anticipate what have hurt you or what have made you uncomfortable. Then, you’ll understand where you should focus into.

Use the list below to see how many are there that actually happens in your marriage life. Though there are only three from the list that match with your real situation, your marriage is in danger and you are in a serious problem if you don’t make any change soon! So please, read these SIGNS carefully:

  • Every time you’ve finished your work hours, you feel hard, unenthusiastic, and lazy to come home to see your spouse.

  • You feel ‘afraid’ every time your spouse is trying to start a conversation; because you think that something hurts you will happen.

  • There’s only a little conversation topics that you can talk with your spouse enjoyably.

  • Things of your spouse that you admire before change into something that bother you.

  • At present time, you’ve never done things that you used to do it together enjoyably before; in fact, it becomes things that you avoid because it isn’t enjoyable anymore and it may hurt you.

  • You feel that your spouse doesn’t love you anymore or even hate you.
  • You have a desire to cheat your spouse or to get a divorce.

  • When you want to make any important decision that relates on children and finance matter; you assume your spouse almost like your enemy.

  • At a party or other gathering event, you criticize or even humiliate your spouse (or vice versa) in public, in front of guests and friends; and you don’t feel guilty having done it.

  • Your unhappy marriage life makes you more sarcastic and pessimistic with others who have better marriage life’s condition.

  • You are in deep sadness because your marriage isn’t the marriage that you’ve dreamt of. You are so disappointed with your marriage.

  • It seems that your hope and your dream in your marriage life may not be realized anymore.
Thank God, there’s no danger sign happens in my marriage. How about you? Have you counted? Did you find any danger sign that happens in your marriage? If you experience one or more of the signs, don’t postpone it, you should take it seriously and focus on fixing the problem. By recognizing these danger signs, I hope that your marriage can be maintained.
Rewrite source: Nova tabloid and google


A Cute Tag

>> Sep 22, 2009

Awards and tags are wandering in blogger world. I received this cute tag (my first also) from my friend Risma-Mommy Mayonnaise. I must answer quite long questions here; but it’s ok, I think it’s enjoyable enough…(furthermore, I should update my blog).

1.What time did you get up this morning?
5 am. After having a prayer, I did some house tasks. The house is still full of visitors now, my brothers from other town with their wives and children are coming here to celebrate Idul Fitri together.
2. How do you like your steak?
Well done one, it’s more safe to eat, right?
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Yesterday, with my sister in-laws, we watched “Ketika Cinta Bertasbih 2”, an Indonesian movie.
4. What is your favorite TV show?
Talkshow, news.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Turkey, I think…
6. What did you have for breakfast?
Fried noodle.
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Indonesian food. But I like to taste other kind of food…
8. What foods do you dislike?
Foods that too salty and greasy.
9. Favorite place to eat?
Several restaurants in Bogor city.
10. Favorite dressing?
Thousand island.
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I don’t drive any vehicle now. My hubby won’t let me; but perhaps one day…
12. What are your favorite clothes?
Simple and casual things.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Turkey, Egypt.
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
1/2 full, I’m trying to think positively.
15. Where would you want to retire?
Bogor, Indonesia. I’ve ever stayed in several cities, but Bogor is I like most.
16. Favorite time of day?
17. Where were you born?
Bogor, Indonesia.
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Basketball. I like to see their fast movement!
19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I don’t know.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
Have no idea…
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
No one, I love to know others’ responses.
22. Bird watcher?
Sometimes, from the big window of our bedroom…
23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I’m a morning person.
24. Do you have any pets?
Yes. A female cat.
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
My big family are gathering now to celebrate Idul Fitri.
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A doctor. I can’t achieve this dream cause it turned out that I’m afraid of seeing blood…
27. What is your best childhood memory?
Spending times together with my late Mom... I miss you, Mom!
29. Are you married?
Of course; even tough we have no child yet, we have a happy marriage life. I hope we can keep this for the following years…
30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes, it’s important for your safety! My hubby have ever got a car accident several years ago. Thank God, he just had small injury because he wore the seatbelt when it happened.
31. Been in a car accident?
I hope never!
32. Any pet peeves?
I can’t answer this, don’t know what it means…
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
I have no favorite one, I like to try each kind of toppings, ha3x...
34. Favorite Flower?
I think all flowers are beautiful…
35. Favorite ice cream?
I can’t eat ice cream, I’m allergic to any cold foods. Poor me …
36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
There’s one place in my city…
37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
38. From whom did you get your last email?
From blogcatalog.
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I don’t like credit card, so, I have no credit card. Have no idea about the store either...
40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
I think I am not a spontaneous person…
41. Like your job?
As a stay at home wife, of course! I hope I’ll be a work at home woman also…
42. Broccoli?
Like it…
43. What was your favorite vacation?
With my big family we go to Pangandaran Beach…
44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
My brothers and their wives…
45. What are you listening to right now?
46. What is your favorite color?
I like all soft colors, black and dark brown…
47. How many tattoos do you have?
None, I avoid tattoos…
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Have no idea…
49. What time did you finish this quiz?
6.45 am
50. Coffee drinker?
Not anymore, I switch it; I’m trying to be a green tea drinker now…


Conscience = God-Spot ?

>> Sep 15, 2009

In just a few more days, Muslims in the world will celebrate Idul Fitri 1430 H. Having done fasting a whole month, Muslims hope to be able to be ‘fitrah’ again. Celebrating this holy day inspires me to write a little bit on relationship between human and The Most Great, God.

First, I’ll ask you to answer several questions below with your conscience:

  • When you’re eating at a place on the side of the road, suddenly a little girl stands up in front of you and she’s starring at the food that you hold on. What is your appeared conscience to the girl at that time?
    Your conscience will answer: I want to give the food to her.

  • You are in a clean room with the glow marble floor. There’s a man passing by and throws a used cigarette to the clean floor. What is your appeared conscience?Your conscience will answer: I want to keep clean the room, so I’ll take and throw the used cigarette into a wastebasket.
People around the world will have the same conscience’s answers. Whether they are poor, wealthy, and different in race, religion and nationality; they will feel the same conscience, if they are in ‘fitrah’ condition. So, it means that human actually have the same conscience or we can say that conscience is basically universal. This is called God-Spot or fitrah.

The scientific proof about God-Spot was stated by V.S. Ramachandran, a neurologist. With the team of California University, they found the existence of God-Spot in human brain. God-Spot is a built-in spiritual center that located between human nerve and brain tissues. Whatever consciences are there in God-Spot? A scientific knowledge still can’t identify and answer this question.

Menurut Al Qur’an, sebelum bumi dan manusia diciptakan, ruh manusia telah mengadakan perjanjian dengan Sang Pencipta :
Allah bertanya kepada jiwa manusia, “Bukankah Aku Tuhanmu?”
Ruh manusia menjawab, “ Ya, kami bersaksi…!” (QS. Al A’raf ayat 172).
Bukti adanya perjanjian ini ialah adanya fitrah iman di dalam jiwa manusia – adanya suara hati manusia. Suara hati adalah suara Tuhan di dalam jiwa manusia.
Jika dibandingkan dengan literatur barat yang menjelaskan tentang kecerdasan emosi, maka dapat diketahui dan dirasakan bahwa 99 sifat-sifat Allah SWT yang terdapat dalam Al Qur’an merupakan sumber dari segala suara hati manusia. Untuk Sobat Muslim, ada cara untuk ‘menemukan’ suara hati: bacalah 99 sifat Allah secara perlahan dengan hati terdalam dan temukan getarannya pada lubuk hati Anda. Apabila Anda belum bisa merasakannya, berhentilah, tarik nafas dalam-dalam, dan ulangi lagi…

Conscience is God’s saying that recorded in human’s soul. If a man wants to do a bad thing, his conscience will forbid him for doing it, because God don’t like a bad deed. If the man still does the bad thing, his conscience will give advice; and it usually ends up with regret. Regret is a ‘coming back sign’ to God.

But sometimes conscience can be closed and blind. There are seven factors that may close and fetter someone’s God-Spot, so that this man will have low emotional intelligence and can’t hear the guiding conscience. We can hear our conscience clearly if we are free from : negative prejudices, misleading life principles, experiences that influence mind, egoism in priority and interest, subjective comparisons, narrow point of views and misleading literatures.

Take time to THINK. It is the source of power.
Take time to READ. It is the foundation of wisdom.
Take time to QUIET. It is the opportunity to seek God.
Take time to DREAM. It is the future made of.
Take time to PRAY. It is the greatest power on earth
-Author unknown-
Rewrite source : ESQ by Ary Ginanjar Agustian and google


For Newlyweds : 10 Tips to Get Along with Your Brother/Sister in-laws

>> Sep 10, 2009

Well, the topic is still around in-laws; but this post is special for newlyweds. Entering the new family, of course, you hope that you’ll be accepted by the whole family members. It will be more enjoyable if you can get along with your brother/sister in-laws. If you don’t know what you should do, don’t worry… I’ll mention here ten tips to get along with your in-laws that you should comprehend first. Happy reading!
  1. As a newcomer in your spouse’s big family, you should be more active in adapting yourself with all family members.

  2. There is time when you should be passive and there is time when you should be assertive.

  3. Don’t hurry in trying to be a close friend to your in-law. First, you should seek to know more; between your in laws- who are cooperative and who are ‘difficult’. Find ways to melt the difficult one’s heart.

  4. Openness and communication is crucial. Don’t keep problems; avoid talking about it secretly or talking it at someone’s back.

  5. When you are asked to give an advice, it’s wiser if you mention the fact and the consequences in every choice and let your in-law making the decision by herself/himself.

  6. If your in-law want to share his/her problem with you; be a good listener and encourage your in-law with empathy words.

  7. Avoid conversation topics that disfiguring other family members.

  8. Do fun activities together to increase the closeness between in-laws; such as shopping, lunch and watching movie together.

  9. You should behave decently and appropriately. Keep the good relationship with your mother and father in-law but don’t overreact; because it can attract your in-law’s jealousy.

  10. If you’ve done your best, but you still aren’t accepted by your in-laws; well, it’s time for you to make a safe distance. It will be better that you use the energy to focus on building a harmonic family with your husband.


How to Overcome Conflict with Your Brother/Sister in-law (2)

>> Sep 7, 2009

This post is the continuance of the previous one. I’ll be straight to the point, here are the following tips that you may apply to overcome conflict with your in-law:

Your spouse has to finance your irresponsible in-law.
At first, with conveniently, you permitted your spouse to finance your in-law’s education until his/her college graduation. After getting an academic degree, your in-law still doesn’t show the intention to look for a job; she or he depends on monthly allowance from your spouse and it happens for years.

It may not be a problem if you’re wealthy, but what if you aren’t? You become very hard to finance your in-laws anymore because your own children need much fund too. Your spouse begins to feel uncomfortable with this situation; but unfortunately your spouse is still reluctant to inform this financial difficulty to your in-law. What can you do?

You should discuss this problem with your spouse first. Remind your wife/husband about the importance of preparing the education fund of your children. Set your family financial plan in a long term by making priority scale on your family financial goals.

If there is a family member that needs financial help; you and your spouse should agree with three terms: the person; the amount of money; and the range of time. This financial help shouldn’t affect your arranged financial plan. If your spouse feel obligated to help your in-law financial needs; it still must have range of time. Why? Because it’s not wise to allow your in-law’s irresponsibility behavior; she/he should change to be more responsible for her/his own future.

With this method, you will have a logical reason if you are forced to reject a request of financial help. Your big family’s side will tolerate and appreciate you and your spouse’s decision.

Face your in-laws’ jealousy.
Lately you feel uncomfortable with the rumors about you from your in-laws. This rumor also makes your mother in-law avoiding you. Your sister in-laws accused the closeness between you and your wealthy mother in-law has a certain intention. Fortunately, your family financial condition is better than them; so they assume that you get much financial help from your mother in-law (which it’s not true).

This rumor has disrupted your good relationship with your mother in-law. You must clarify to straighten this problem. You may use the moment in a family gathering to clarify the rumor to your all big family. If it doesn’t work, your husband should discuss the situation with your mother in-law more seriously.

Introspect yourself. If you have a better financial condition, you should know how to behave appropriately with your in-laws. Don’t show your new things to them; don’t do anything that can attract your in-laws’ jealousy; you and your spouse should care much to other family members. Of course, you must consider your financial ability first...

I hope these tips will help you who have the similar problem. Alhamdulillah, I’ve no problem with my in-laws; I can get along with them and we care one another…

Rewrite source : Femina & google


How to Overcome Conflict with Your in-laws (1)

>> Sep 3, 2009

Actually, I still have other tips on how to build good moral character of your child; but I’d like to keep it for later. Now I want to discuss another topic. Let’s talk a little bit of marriage life here...

Husbands and wives, marriage life could be so complicated, right? As happens in many countries, a marriage unites and involves two big families. With this condition, conflicts may happen and it can influence your marriage life. Similar with the relationship between you and your mother/father in-law; having trouble with your in-laws can tend to be a sensitive problem that can pull your energy and mind.

Living together or living near with in-laws sometimes can’t be avoided. You may still stay at home of your mother/father in-law; or you live in the same cluster with your in-law; or your in-law stay at your home. It can be enjoyable cause living near with relatives means there are someone that can be asked for if you need a help.

But, on the other side, you may have troubles with your in-law’s behavior. From the small thing such as borrowing your goods until money problem; can tend to be a conflict. If it doesn’t overcome seriously, this friction can threaten your marriage life. How to overcome the conflict? I’ll mention some tips from Adriana Ginandjar, a marriage consultant and a lecturer of Psychology Faculty of Indonesia University:

Overcome your lazy in-law.
All complaints can be settled if there are already clear rules since the beginning. This agreement has to be obeyed by all occupants; ex: the rule on distribution of house tasks. You must learn to be assertive. Don’t allow your in-law’s bad habit. Don’t do anything can be meant that you agree with his/her behavior. Take action and settle the problem soon. Ask your in-law to discuss the situation and find the solution together.

Your in-law love to borrow your things.
It’s okay if she/he always returns it; but what if there are none of your things being brought back to you? It can make you annoyed because you won’t be comfortable to ask your in-law to bring back your things. To overcome this situation; always ask when it will be returned before you lending out your things. You may also say that he/she doesn’t have to bring it back by her/himself; your servant will take it later. You can also give little signs on your things to avoid being claimed by your in-laws.

As long as you’re in the right position; it’s fine to act distinctly, but still respectfully. Even your neighbor is your relatives; the tolerance of living together should always be applied. It can’t be allowed if someone comes in and out of your house to take your things without permission.

Read the following tips in my next post


About This Blog and Me!

Welcome to my blog. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
This blog contains articles in family topic.
Contact me at linalg4@gmail.com

Contact Me Here


Email *

Message *

  © Free Blogger Templates Autumn Leaves by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP