Ever since I was born I have spent a great
deal of time with family- all kinds of family. Both Mom and Dad had a couple of
siblings and they had children. Both of their parents were living and they were
really involved in our lives. We had cousins everywhere and we spent as much
time together as possible. I have some wonderful and not so wonderful memories
of growing up that include all the branches of our family tree. I would not
trade one memory because regardless of whether it was good times or bad these
memories bond us together and make us even closer.
I am a big proponent of spending time with
extended family if you did not already gather that in the first paragraph.
There are times I question why but I always go back for more and I am very
thankful to have so much love in my life and it is continuing through the lives
of my children and their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents as well. It
is not always easy getting together with extended family if they do not live
near by and sometimes it is not easy getting along with them when they do live
nearby. I believe that the good far outweighs the bad and that it is worth all
the extra time and effort to keep family close.
When I was very young we lived in the same
town as my Mom’s family. She has a brother and a sister who were married with
children and her Mom, Step-Dad, and her Grandmother lived there as well. We
spent a lot of time with all of them separately and many times the whole group
would gather. If you have an extended family of your own you can imagine what
it was like to have all the cousins together in the same place. There were
seven of us all total during that time and we were not a quiet group.
We were always getting in trouble for
something, mostly just getting on the adults nerves. One particular occasion
stands out in my mind. We were over at my Aunt and Uncle’s house and we had
been told to go down and play in the basement. They had a nice basement for
playing games and running around. One thing led to another as they often do and
my brother, the oldest, somehow caused one of the cousins to cry, which he
often did. Then it seemed to be a chain reaction from one to two and even
three.
Well, the first one to come bounding down
the stairs was Uncle Mike who was the easy going uncle who danced with you in
the kitchen and always had a smile. We told him we would be good and all was
well, no worries. After he left we did okay for a while and then things started
up again. This time it was Uncle Bill, who quite frankly, could go either way
but he was in good form and gave us all a cheery tone and a smile so we again
assured that we would be better. We did alright for a short time and the noise
level again went up but this time it was my Dad. My Dad did not often get up at
all and if he was going to get up he was going to take care of business and
everyone knew it. When my Dad came down the stairs everyone scattered and there
was not a peep to be heard. I do recall that my Brother did not fair too well
that evening and we finally got the message. We all laugh about it today but at
the time it was no laughing matter. Good times.
Another occasion comes to mind and this one
is a real doozy. My Grandparents were having a home built on a cul-de-sac which
was being built on a sort of hill. They lived right in the middle of the
cul-de-sac circle at the top of the hill in such a way that you could drive
right up the street and dead end right in their driveway. There were many
houses being built on this particular street and there was still one vacant lot
down the street. All the adults went into the partially built house to look
around; the windows were not even installed as yet. They left all of the
cousins in the car except one who was an infant and stayed in my Aunt’s arms. I
am thinking my oldest Brother was like seven or eight, myself and one cousin
were five or six, and there was one four and one three year old. We were just
hanging out in the car waiting, watching our folks look around. They were not
but about ten feet away so they were keeping an eye on us off and on. Well, big
Brother of mine was fooling with the gear shift and keep in mind this was in
the very early sixties. Somehow he got it into neutral and we start to back out
of the driveway, slowly at first but then we really began to gain momentum.
When someone finally turned around to look I will never forget the looks on
their faces. I felt no fear; I had no idea what was going on. I do however
think my Brother had a clue because he was busy trying to get the gear shift
back where it was and had an awfully panicked look on his face. All three men
came bounding out the windows and running at full force after the car as it
headed for an eight lane highway at the end of this street. We would have made
it too except the good Lord was looking out for us and the car began to turn
and we turned in to the only vacant lot on the street and came to a stop. To
this day I am not sure if my brother turned the wheel or an angel did it but
either way it was the Lord.
That same brother, as a teenager, ended up
sticking all of us cousins in a crawl space under a house we moved to later
that did not have a basement. A tornado siren went off and he was in charge.
There was a small light and lots of bugs. He somehow locked us in and went back
up to the house and had a nice little party with some of his friends while the
moms and dads were gone. Ah, memories. And no, he did not end up in prison; he
actually makes a wonderful living with four children of his own. And he just can
not understand why they are all so rebellious as teens! Life sure goes around
and comes right back to where it started.
We talk about these episodes frequently
when we see each other and the folks have never forgotten either. We all wonder
how my brother made it through childhood. All the times we spent together
brought us closer, even the bad ones. We had lots of great times too but it
always seems when we get together that these are the topics we end up talking
about.
It is a wonderful feeling to have people
close to you to connect with outside of your immediate family. They are not
just cousins but they are also friends and because we are connected by blood it
creates an even greater bond. I believe we need family around to encourage us,
to protect us, and to make memories with. I believe our children need to
experience this as well. That is why I do my best to meet with extended family
once or twice a year and I also do my best to connect to my nieces and nephews.
Sometimes young people need someone to talk to that is an adult they trust but
is not mom and dad. I would like that to be me and not a stranger. It is a
family thing, it is a love thing.
Author
Bio:
Ken holds a master’s in business leadership
from Upper Iowa University and multiple bachelor degrees from Grand View
College. As president of morningsidenannies.com,
Ken’s focus is helping Houston-based parents find the right childcare provider
for their family. When he isn’t working, he enjoys spending time with his three
children and his wife.
Read more...
