The Ten Phrases Not to Say to Your Kids (3)

Here are the last three phrases:

8. “Don’t say that.”
Notice this situation: a mother was embarrassed when her daughter once pointed at a frizzy-haired woman at the grocery store and shouted with wide-eyed wonder, “Look at the witch!”

You shouldn’t think that the girl was being rude; she was simply being a kid. Whether the difference is race, ethnicity, orientation, physical abilities, or appearance, these experiences are perfect opportunities to look into kids’ thoughts about diversity, at which point you should share your own.

Don’t shut down the conversation, but rather welcome the open dialogue. As for the inappropriate comments, that is something that you need to discuss with your child, however, do not silence them, as silence taught to a child can breed into an emotional and mental issue later in life.

9. “Let me help you.”
It can be heartbreaking to watch a frustrated child. But sometimes it doesn’t pay to do the superhero rescue. The more challenges children overcome, the prouder they’ll feel, says Dr. Stanley I. Greenspan, author of Great Kids. You are setting your child up for failure when you indulge them and make problems go away instantly. The only way to overcome challenge is to face it head on.

10. “Don’t make me turn this car around!”
There’s not much worse than a car ride with a badly behaved child (or two or three). When you’ve gotten to this point, you’ve already lost control, even from the driver’s seat. If you want to head home, just do it, but don’t give your children the authority to make that decision for you.

Source: google & parenting.kaboose.com
Image source:sugardoodle.net

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The Ten Phrases Not to Say to Your Kids (2)

Dear parents, it’s the second post. If you forget the first three; you can see here.

4. “We’ll see.”

“We’ll see” is a pause button for those times when you just can’t handle another decision. But this age-old trick may very well say to your child that you’re too busy or distracted for her. This in turn provokes your child to continue to ask the same question until you are so annoyed with the constant nagging that you make a rash decision. Instead, ask her to check in with you later. Or, if you’re just delaying the inevitable no, bite the bullet and give it to her straight.

5. “Give Aunt Millie a kiss!”
Forcing your child to hug, kiss, or show affection to someone sends the message that he doesn’t have control. Kids need to be certain that they can say no to unwanted physical attention, starting at a young age, so that as they develop and grow they will know how to handle situations that they may be placed in.

6. “Calm down.”
If your child is hyperventilating or won’t sit still for emergency medical treatment, this phrase may not be so bad. But for ordinary emotions—even those expressed in ways that would rival a soap star’s performance—“calm down” may translate to: “Your feelings don’t matter.”

Swallow your frustration with your child’s theatrics and simply say, “Wow, you’re mad/sad/frustrated, let’s work through this.” You never want to let your child feel as though the expression of emotion is a bad thing, because the alternative – a child that shows little to no emotion – is not easy to handle, either.

7. “When I’m right, I’m right, and when I’m wrong, I’m still right.”
It is all right for your kids to know that you’re not perfect. Actually, they already know it. Experts agree that it’s better for parents to fess up to mistakes than to claim superiority. When you say, ‘I shouldn't have done that,’ your child will have a rock-solid sense that her feelings matter to the people who are most important in her life. Additionally, you don’t want to encourage your children to always be on a quest to be right, because as the phrase goes, no one is perfect.

Source: google & parenting.kaboose.com

Image source: sudardoodle.net

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