How to Overcome Conflict with Your Brother/Sister in-law (2)
>> Sep 7, 2009
This post is the continuance of the previous one. I’ll be straight to the point, here are the following tips that you may apply to overcome conflict with your in-law:
Your spouse has to finance your irresponsible in-law.
At first, with conveniently, you permitted your spouse to finance your in-law’s education until his/her college graduation. After getting an academic degree, your in-law still doesn’t show the intention to look for a job; she or he depends on monthly allowance from your spouse and it happens for years.
It may not be a problem if you’re wealthy, but what if you aren’t? You become very hard to finance your in-laws anymore because your own children need much fund too. Your spouse begins to feel uncomfortable with this situation; but unfortunately your spouse is still reluctant to inform this financial difficulty to your in-law. What can you do?
Your spouse has to finance your irresponsible in-law.
At first, with conveniently, you permitted your spouse to finance your in-law’s education until his/her college graduation. After getting an academic degree, your in-law still doesn’t show the intention to look for a job; she or he depends on monthly allowance from your spouse and it happens for years.
It may not be a problem if you’re wealthy, but what if you aren’t? You become very hard to finance your in-laws anymore because your own children need much fund too. Your spouse begins to feel uncomfortable with this situation; but unfortunately your spouse is still reluctant to inform this financial difficulty to your in-law. What can you do?
You should discuss this problem with your spouse first. Remind your wife/husband about the importance of preparing the education fund of your children. Set your family financial plan in a long term by making priority scale on your family financial goals.
If there is a family member that needs financial help; you and your spouse should agree with three terms: the person; the amount of money; and the range of time. This financial help shouldn’t affect your arranged financial plan. If your spouse feel obligated to help your in-law financial needs; it still must have range of time. Why? Because it’s not wise to allow your in-law’s irresponsibility behavior; she/he should change to be more responsible for her/his own future.
With this method, you will have a logical reason if you are forced to reject a request of financial help. Your big family’s side will tolerate and appreciate you and your spouse’s decision.
Face your in-laws’ jealousy.
Lately you feel uncomfortable with the rumors about you from your in-laws. This rumor also makes your mother in-law avoiding you. Your sister in-laws accused the closeness between you and your wealthy mother in-law has a certain intention. Fortunately, your family financial condition is better than them; so they assume that you get much financial help from your mother in-law (which it’s not true).
This rumor has disrupted your good relationship with your mother in-law. You must clarify to straighten this problem. You may use the moment in a family gathering to clarify the rumor to your all big family. If it doesn’t work, your husband should discuss the situation with your mother in-law more seriously.
Introspect yourself. If you have a better financial condition, you should know how to behave appropriately with your in-laws. Don’t show your new things to them; don’t do anything that can attract your in-laws’ jealousy; you and your spouse should care much to other family members. Of course, you must consider your financial ability first...
I hope these tips will help you who have the similar problem. Alhamdulillah, I’ve no problem with my in-laws; I can get along with them and we care one another…
Rewrite source : Femina & google
If there is a family member that needs financial help; you and your spouse should agree with three terms: the person; the amount of money; and the range of time. This financial help shouldn’t affect your arranged financial plan. If your spouse feel obligated to help your in-law financial needs; it still must have range of time. Why? Because it’s not wise to allow your in-law’s irresponsibility behavior; she/he should change to be more responsible for her/his own future.
With this method, you will have a logical reason if you are forced to reject a request of financial help. Your big family’s side will tolerate and appreciate you and your spouse’s decision.
Face your in-laws’ jealousy.
Lately you feel uncomfortable with the rumors about you from your in-laws. This rumor also makes your mother in-law avoiding you. Your sister in-laws accused the closeness between you and your wealthy mother in-law has a certain intention. Fortunately, your family financial condition is better than them; so they assume that you get much financial help from your mother in-law (which it’s not true).
This rumor has disrupted your good relationship with your mother in-law. You must clarify to straighten this problem. You may use the moment in a family gathering to clarify the rumor to your all big family. If it doesn’t work, your husband should discuss the situation with your mother in-law more seriously.
Introspect yourself. If you have a better financial condition, you should know how to behave appropriately with your in-laws. Don’t show your new things to them; don’t do anything that can attract your in-laws’ jealousy; you and your spouse should care much to other family members. Of course, you must consider your financial ability first...
I hope these tips will help you who have the similar problem. Alhamdulillah, I’ve no problem with my in-laws; I can get along with them and we care one another…
Rewrite source : Femina & google
