How To Help Children Cope With Divorce in Los Angeles

>> Nov 26, 2020

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When your marriage comes to a dead-end, divorce might be the final choice. Throughout this process, you may have discussed your further life and child's custody arrangements, but except that there are much greater things to be concerned about, like your kid's mental health. It's important to understand how the children will face this separation and how you can help them in the best possible way. You may not be able to see through it, but your child is also struggling with you. Even if your child is just a toddler, pre-schooler, or teenager, you might feel a difference in their behavior individually. Here, you know they need help and beyond your emotions, you need to understand theirs!

For Infants or Toddlers

You might be thinking that your kids won't even notice your separation, and it might be easy to tackle with! But you are wrong here, at this stage of childhood, kids are super observing and active. Divorce affects the kids even when they are too little to talk about it. They need to have you around even if it's a mother or a father, they feel your absence! So, here are some tips to make this transition easier for toddlers, and preschoolers after divorce.

If you have a toddler, you need to make them feel loved and be around them. Toddlers are just old enough to understand that something is wrong. They don’t know the “why” or “how" of the divorce. To make them understand what's going on, you need to use subtle and loving words to show them you care and you will be always there no matter what.

Your child may feel differently and it may lead to outbursts or regressions such as feeling afraid to sleep alone, potty training, reverting to old habits, and may feel abundant. To ensure your child does not suffer from this, you need to maintain a normal schedule and don’t be afraid to talk with them.

Firstly, explain to them every little change so that zero questions arise in their mind. You need to be clear with their schedule and your presence in it. You need to make time for their little chores and manage time between both the parents considering the cost of living in Los Angeles

Most importantly, don't forget to smile with them, cherish their cuteness, and build a positive environment around them. A little bang of a cup of coffee might be disturbing too!! So, always remember, your child does not need to struggle with any of your adult issues and always wants to see a happy you. So that they know it’s a happy world out there! You can also take help from a trusted family law attorney Los Angeles

For Preschoolers

you need to be more attentive towards your behavior and changes around them. Little things matter to them, like being yelled at, loud noises and you gradually put pressure on them for little things. You need to be more caring and sweet towards them. You have to give them time to accept things and don’t pressurize them to choose sides. 

Suppose, it's Christmas and instead of showering them with all love and presents, you are forcing them to make a choice between you two! It's a difficult choice to make for any kid, rather than this, they want you to be nothing more but friends. Your kid just wants you to be happy and look up to a better world. Thus, you have to understand that you can't burden them with situations that they cannot control.

  • You need to make them feel accepted.
  • You need to work towards assuring your love to them.
  • You need to set them free of their opinion.

Most importantly you need to become a stable parent.

For Teenagers
 
As a parent of a teenager, the first thing you should consider is to Believe in them. If you really trust your child and believe that they will cope up with this situation, you automatically improve your behavior towards them. When we don’t believe in them, we constantly try to make it up for them or apologize every time. Instead, try providing them all the resources they need.

Secondly, you need to maintain a healthy boundary with your ex-partner. This means you have to move on with healthy and positive thoughts even if your kid is not around you. Yes! You have to do this because if you just do it in front of your kid, your behavior will automatically change and there will be nothing left that you can do to make it better. Your mind should be clear of all the poison and negative thoughts so that you provide a healthy atmosphere for your kid.

Your job is to love them no matter what! And you need to focus on that. You are not someone who has to save them from your evil ex-partner, you just need to love and take care of them. Remember, you are here for them to love, not to protect. You need to provide freedom and let them explore their choices even if you don’t like it. Remember, if you choose to date, don't get hard on yourself and give another chance, also take care of your kid's feelings and embrace them. If it seems difficult or you need any more help, you can always consult with a Los Angeles divorce lawyer.

At last, try talking to your kid more often and understand how they feel about all of this. Make it easier for them to open up and share their feelings. Spend quality time with them, ask them what they need or if anything is left out. Don't burden them with your needs or use them as an information carrier. It’s time to switch attention from your spouse to kids.

Conclusion

I understand that it’s not easy to handle yourself and your kids at the same time through such an emotional phase of life. But you need to accept that life provides everyone with equal opportunities and this is your opportunity to be the best version of being a mother. So, stop stressing out, you are going to do the best for your kid. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

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This blog contains articles in family topic.
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