How to Be a Supportive Parent to Preteens

The preteen years are a tricky time for both child and parent. The last of your furniture was just delivered by Black Tie Moving, and you start to wonder how your preteen will adjust to the new move. They didn’t seem as happy about leaving their friends and school behind. Now, more than ever, it’s important you let them know they have your support.

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Here’s a guide on how to be a supportive parent to preteens.

 

Compassionate Listening

It’s one thing to hear your preteen talk, but it’s a whole other thing if you practice compassionate listening with them. The preteen years are a confusing, complicated time for children. Often, they don’t feel they have anyone to talk to or who understands them. Compassionate listening means that you listen to what they have to say, without judgment or interrupting. You pay attention not only to the words but their nonverbal communication. Do they appear happy, sad, anxious, depressed? Listen to them with your heart, without an agenda.

 

Encourage Creativity

If you find out your child likes to draw, paint, or play music – encourage them in these creative hobbies in every way possible. Consider signing them up for classes or showing them online tutorials to expand their knowledge when it comes to their artistic expression. You want to let your preteen know that you support and appreciate their unique gifts.

 

Don’t Force Hobbies

While you want to encourage your preteen to be creative, you don’t want to force it on them. Creativity and hobbies are meant to come directly from the individual. You can suggest hobbies to your kids, but you don’t want to put any pressure on hobbies if they reveal to you that they don’t enjoy it. This could turn into resentment later in life, and it certainly makes them feel as if you don’t support them in the way that they need.

 

Words of Affirmation

What you say to your preteen has a profound impact on their wellbeing. Therefore, it’s crucial that you choose your words carefully. You want to express to your children that you support them, that they are loved, and they are safe. Words of affirmation are something you should practice daily with your preteen. Even if they aren’t as receptive to your positivity at this time, it will still have a positive impact on them.

 

Don’t Be a Best Friend

It’s hard to not want to hang out with your preteen sometimes. Yet, there’s a fine line between being a parent and being a friend. While it’s healthy to enjoy your time with your preteen, you want to always remember your role as parent. If you find yourself acting as more of a friend, your preteen isn’t getting the support that only a parent can give. In turn, this could backfire and make them feel as if they have no authoritative or parent figure in their life.

 

The Rundown

We all want our children to feel supportive. It’s tricky to navigate this. Speak openly with your preteen – ask them if they feel supported by you. Communication is key when it comes to building a supportive foundation for your children. Remember to just do the best you can!