When Parents Make Mistakes

Hi, parents, when you make mistakes to your children, do you ask forgiveness from them? There are still some people have an opinion that asking forgiveness is a sign of weakness and only emphasizing the mistakes. Do you realize that asking forgiveness actually shows the greatness of your heart?

Why some parents don’t want to ask forgiveness? The answers may vary. Some adults think that they have never done wrong, even though they have made a wrong decision, spanked or snapped at their child. Some parents may feel guilty; but they don’t want to admit it and ask forgiveness because these parents want to keep their face safe in front of their child. For them, admitting the mistakes will only show their weakness.

Sometimes parents forget that the house rules aren’t only for the children, but also for the whole family members, include the parents. As parents, we always say to our child,” When you make mistakes, you should feel sorry and apologize”. So, when you make mistakes to your child, why don’t you apologize? By asking forgiveness to your own child, you’ve given them the right example.

As ordinary human, it’s a normal thing that parents make mistakes. The important thing is don’t let it ruining your relationship with your child. You must remember that the children have sensitive feelings and good memories; every bad thing that you’ve done to them will be carried until their adult times.

You may still worry; is apologizing can eliminate the parents’ authority? No, it won’t if you do it in the right way; that’s why you should know the appropriate ways to ask forgiveness from your child:

• Admit your mistakes. Forget the feeling embarrassed; you must keep your warm relationship with your child first. By admitting your mistakes, your child will feel treated fairly and it’s also an important thing in asking forgiveness.


• Be sincere. Your child will know whether you ask forgiveness sincerely or not. If you just pretending, you’ll loose their trust.


• Be calm. It’s not a wise thing if you asking forgiveness while you’re still in a bad emotion. Make yourself calm first. Tell your child that you need times to be alone and will continue the conversation later.


• Use the straight words. You should remember that you asking forgiveness for what you have just done such as yelling, saying harsh words, making wrong decision, etc.


• Don’t blame your child. Don’t you ever say like this,” If you’re not lazy, I wouldn’t angry with you”. It’s not apologizing; in fact, you make the condition more badly.


• Say “Would you forgive me?”. After admitting your mistake, ask straightly whether she or he will forgive you. This dialogue will ease you and your child will learn how to repair the relationship. Don’t forget to hug each other!


• Evaluate. Invite your child to discuss about how to solve the problem properly. Make a deal on what things that should do if the same problem happens again later.


• Don’t do the same mistake. After receiving the forgiveness, you should remember not doing it again. Asking forgiveness several times for the same mistake will make you untrustworthy.


• Don’t be exaggerating. It’s not a wise thing if you ask forgiveness too often, it will make you loose your authority. Do it if you truly make mistakes!

Your child need to know that you are not perfect; you can make mistakes like they do. They also need for you to show them how to make things right so they can do the same when they do wrong thing.

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Family-Safe Internet (4)

As I mentioned in my previous Family-Safe Internet posts, there are several methods that parents can applied to protect children from bad information in internet. One of the methods is installing Internet Content Filter Software to the computer at your home or to the server of computers at schools and libraries. These softwares will block and filter internet contents that contain bad information for children such as pornography, violence, harsh and dirty words, drugs, crime; dating, escort and chating services, etc.

Besides K9 Web Protection that I’ve referred before; in this post I’ll mention other helpful free internet content filter softwares for you.

AX2 The Internet Bad Content Blocker Alpha 1 (.zip)

Terima kasih untuk Sobat Anggy yang telah menginformasikan software ini. Internet Bad Content Blocker yang merupakan karya mahasiswa STIE Pengembangan Bisnis dan Manajemen ini dapat memproteksi dampak buruk dari penggunaan internet (pornografi, SARA, kekerasan dan dampak buruk lain).

Jika Anda ingin memasang software ini di komputer Anda, silakan download saja langsung ke sumbernya : STIE PBM (klik banner downloadnya di side bar sebelah kanan).

Norton Online Family

Symantec also tries to offer the transparent protection for children while using internet. This software can be downloaded from onlinefamily.norton.com - it’s FREE until January 1st, 2010! You should straightly download from the site because they require your personal data and also your child’s data.

As parents, what advantages you can get by using Norton Online Family?

• you can determine the forbidden sites for your child
• once you submit your child’s age, the software will determine the sites that appropriate with your child
• you can set the time limit of using the computer
• you will receive notification e-mail regularly
• if your child tries to access the forbidden site, the reminder notification will appear and the system will get your child out of it
• if your child continues to access the forbidden site, you will be informed by e-mail
• the software gives you the statistic of your child’s activities with computer. This data can be a discussion matter with your child.

Procon Latte (Mozilla add-ons)
ProCon is a content filter for the Firefox browser created by Corvineum, and based on BlockXXX (by Tom Christensen). ProCon filters any type of content on any web page. If left on default, ProCon limits itself to filter pages containing explicit content automatically, based on the text. ProCon can also be used as a profanity filter.

Procon comes with a list of blocked words and website. You can specify your own white list. This tool can filter any kind of material such as pornography, gambling, hacking, cracking and more. It can also block all traffic, making sure that only desired websites (set in white list) can be accessed. Procon also comes with password protection feature to keep others from changing the settings. Do you want to try it?

download the Procon Latte (Mozilla Add-ons)

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Let’s Hug!

In this post I just want to describe a little bit about the necessity of hugging habit in our family. Hugging is a healthy thing! We need touches and it is needed often. But sometimes we are afraid of being rejected; so we prefer to hug babies and pets…

Why is it necessary to build a hugging habit in your family?

• a medicinal expert said that we need more than just hugging our baby and pets; we need to hug each other
• Dr. Harold Falk, a psychiatrist from Menninger Foundation, said,” Hugging can get you up from depression and increase the body immune system. Hugs will blow wind of life to the exhausted bodies and it will make you feel younger and more enthusiastic”
• there’s a hug recipe from Dr. Bresler of UCLA Clinic: Get hug four times a day; in the morning, in the afternoon, at dinner time and before going to bed. It will make you much better!
• Helen Colton, the author of The Pleasure of Touches, explained that hemoglobin in our blood will increase significantly every time you are touched and hugged. Hemoglobin takes oxygen from brain, heart and whole body; so hugging is truly an important thing

Some families might have already had this hugging habit; but I think some families might haven’t yet applied this. There are some reasons why they don’t hug their families: not used to express their emotion, feeling awkward, feeling embarrassed, family background effect, etc.

You may ever hear someone said,”I don’t like to hug, it’s too shameful for me”. Ok, but it’s still probable for her or him to change into a person who can hug others. He doesn’t need to hug everyone he knows; he should hug his wife and children first, and someone can learn doing this.

How to hug your family?

• you can keep talking when hugging; it won’t ruin the moment
• where you place your hands is not important
• press gently; it isn’t necessary to have head-contact
• don’t hug too tightly
• don’t let go too early. If your spouse or child feels upset or down, they may need a long, loving hug
• smile when letting go

Don’t be shy to hug your family. A hug is a good way to express our affection to our beloved ones and it’s good for health too, mentally and physically. Let’s spread warmth and comfort at home…

rewrite source: Making Friends by Andrew Mathews

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Humor is important!

Why humor is important in your relationship and marriage life?

• Many relationships without sense of humor wouldn’t last long
• Humor is an essential ingredient of a meaningful relationship
• Life is too hard to face with someone who takes life too seriously
• Laughter is a great stress-reliever
• Humor can break the arguing
• Sharing humor can lead to build a deep bond relationship
• Sense of humor can help you through the hard times in more optimistic way
• Your spouse’s humorous words can help you out from your bad mood
• Humor will constantly lighten and brighten your days
• Humor is a diversion therapy from the difficulties of your daily life
• Sense of humor can train you to see the positive side of your life
• The more you share humor with your spouse, the healthier your relationship will be
• Laughter is a natural medicine; every time you laugh, your body will release endorphins that create good mood and positive emotion. Even laughing at yourself can make you feel better!

Why

humor is important for your children?

• Children’ sense of humor can increase their intelligence.An expert said that children’ sense of humor has straight relations with intelligence, creativity, social ability, empathy, self confidence, self appraisal and the higher problem solving ability. A child with a good sense of humor will be more likeable by his or her peers and adults.
• Laughing together can increase the bond between parents and child
• Children’ sense of humor can increase the children development function. With humor, your child can express his or her growing thinking ability and creativity in joyful way
• Humor can be a best way in reprimanding your child; he or she will accept it well. Your child will correct his or her mistakes happily. The humorous way in reprimanding will also make your child feels appreciated.

What parents can do to develop the child’s sense of

humor?

• Try to tell jokes and do funny act in front of your child whenever you can; especially when your child feels afraid
• Be creative to develop your own style of humor. You may need to practice your humor ability; choose one that most suits your character and easiest for you to do.
• Your child will imitate you. Support your child’s sense of humor with giving the good respons and laughing together.
• Apply humor in your children life since their early years. Fulfill their golden years with laugh and joy!

Many families face the hard situation nowadays; if the sense of humor

always warms their home, they will cope this hard times properly; they won’t be drowned in problems.rewrite from several sources

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Family-Safe Internet (3)

If you haven’t yet downloaded any specific browser for kids or filter content software; but your child is already eager to play internet, there is still other way out. There are many web sites for kids that may suite with your child needs. However, you should still watch and accompany your child to avoid him or her changing the present site.

There are many web sites recommended by the child expert. You can apply parent advice and the recommended web lists per age category (2-4, 5-8, 9-11, 12-14, and 15-17) in commonsensemedia.org to choose the site that appropriate with your child.

Fortunately, there are also FREE educational websites; your child can learn lots of things and you don’t have to pay anything! Well, in this post I will mention some great educational sites that are totally free for you :

;e-smartschool (situs pendidikan anak Indonesia untuk usia sekolah dasar)

Portal Pendidikan Anak ini meyajikan banyak materi yang menarik dan bermanfaat untuk anak Anda. Ditulis dengan bahasa sederhana dan mudah dimengerti, portal ini bisa membantu membimbing anak Anda dalam belajar dan menjalin komunikasi interaktif antara siswa, guru dan orang tua.

Materi e-smartschool terdiri dari berbagai kategori seperti pengetahuan komputer, pengetahuan umum (alam semesta, bumi dan alam lingkungan, manusia dan kehidupan, dunia binatang, dunia tumbuhan, serba-serbi, tokoh dunia, bank data), cerita anak (cerita asli Indonesia, umum dan manca negara), materi pelajaran sekolah (kelas 1 s/d. 6 SD), Bantu Saya (jika sudah menjadi anggota, anak Anda bisa menanyakan berbagai pertanyaan ke redaksi), untuk Orang Tua (tersedia kolom pakar dan forum diskusi), seputar pendidikan dan Karyaku (anak Anda bisa mengirimkan hasil karya seperti karangan, puisi atau gambar).

yahookids

This site is the new, improved Yahooligans -- Yahoo's answer to an online world for kids. There are Study Zone which has purpose to help school students. Science and nature section describes space, animals and dinosaurus. School and home work section allows your child to learn while playing; your child can learn language, art, math and social science. Around the world section is also interesting, your child can learn more about different countries in the world.

For parents and teachers, yahookids supplies many helpful informations and tips on giving the best education to children.

billybear4kids


This site is the good choice for your younger child. For games, activities, and educational content, kids can always count on Billy Bear for a good time! Billy Bear has games to play, storybooks to read, coloring pages,free wallpaper, clipart and screen savers to down load... lots of kids stuff to give away.

Drawing lessons with billy bear is so much fun. There will be step by step guidance to draw an object in every lesson like how to draw bear, cat, frog, bird,etc.

kids know it network

Kids know it is a great educational site. Hiram Bertoch, the founder, said that learning was mean to be both fun and free, not boring, and definitely not expensive. This site has done the mission very well; your child will get homework help in a number of subject areas including animals, astronomy, biology, chemistry, dinosaurs, geography, geology, history, human biology, math, memory, and spelling. Each one of these subject areas has games, activities, worksheets, and free online classes that your child can participate in.

More than thirty free educational movies are available for teachers to use to supplement their lessons. The movies cover such topics as planets, absolute values, adjectives, averages, eclipses, acceleration, hurricanes, and more. Each movie ends with an interactive online quiz. Additionally, a comprehensive database of educational songs can be used by teachers and students to enhance learning.

I hope this article can help you to choose the appropriate web sites with your child. Let's protect them from bad information in internet!

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