To be a Good Husband Guidance (2)

Hi, nice to see you again. This Sunday I’ll share the continuing of how to be a good husband tips. Check it out…

4. Don’t bring your own issues into the marriage
All of us have emotional baggage. When you marry, you bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. When your wife comes to you for support, that isn’t the time to open up that emotional baggage. There are times when you can unload this stuff on your wife, but not when she needs your support.

It’s common for a man to internalize all her problems and make them our own. But if you do this, you are losing sight of why she confided in you in the first place. Don’t be selfish when you are supposed to be supportive.

5. Know when to make it about you
Of course, it can’t always be about her or the marriage. There are times when your needs should be met. That’s the definition of a give-and-take partnership, which is what a marriage should be about.

Tell her how you feel, but don’t put her in a defensive position.
This means you describe to her how something she does affects you without making your feelings accusatory. When you talk about issues in your marriage, tell her about how it affects you instead of what it is about her that bothers you. Good communication is one of the keys of a healthy marriage; good communication requires you to tell her how you are affected.

If your wife does something that hurts you, tell her exactly that you are hurt. Don’t focus on her actions, but on the consequences of those actions. If you simply accuse her of undermining you or being insensitive, it automatically puts her on the defensive. When she’s defensive about her actions, good communication becomes all but impossible.

6. Be affectionateWomen need affection sometimes.
If you show your wife spontaneous affection occasionally, it reassures her of the love bond.

7. Be willing to get outside help
There’s the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That’s one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we couldn’t stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.

A smart man has to realize when he can’t do it all himself. One of those cases is the man whose marriage is in trouble. It’s very standard for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor.

A man would prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, he would rather read how-to guides on how to save his marriage than ask for professional help. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. That’s when a man has to give into his wife’s request that they speak to a counselor.

Professional marriage counselors can be a great help. They are instructors in how to listen, how to show respect, how to avoid judgment, how to be a part of the team, how to express your feelings and how to be more affectionate. In short, when a man finds that his best efforts to improve his marriage skills fail, he needs a trained instructor to work on those skills.

Again, this guidance mentions ideal things. But anyway, husbands (and wives) can learn from this. It needs effort from both sides to maintain a marriage…

Source :howtoguides365.com
Picture source:buildingcamelot.com

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CC: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

This question seems like a silly question, but I think, most wives have ever asked the same question to their husbands. Why? Most women need to feel secure and need to be assured that their husbands won’t leave them and will always love them forever.

I myself have ever asked this question to my hubby, in the first year of our marriage. He can answer my question perfectly. He said that he loves my heart and personalities, he can accept me completely; and it won’t change until death do us part. I feel safe and secure emotionally, and I think, we, wives need this secure feeling. Until now, I’ve never asked my hubby this question anymore.

As a wife, it isn’t wise to ask this question too often to your husband. It expresses your distrust and your lack of self esteem. Moreover, he will feel annoyed with your questions! I guess he will say something like this: Why you don’t trust my love to you? or Why you always ask me the same question? or What I have to do to make you believe in me? or I’m bored to answer your question…

If you have get your answer or you can see the answer in how he treats you, don’t questioning your husband’s love again. It’s better to convey and maintain your love every day than always questioning it.

Well, it’s my story and a brief of my opinion. You can join us in CC or read other’s story by clicking the badge above. Enjoy your marriage life, every one…

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Best Service in Cheap Auto Insurance

We’ve already had our car for a few years, but we haven’t yet provided it with insurance. We know, it’s not a wise thing to do; but for us, buying insurance isn’t an easy job. Due to our tight budget, we have to choose a legit insurance company which offers chap auto insurance.

Why you should have car auto insurance? Well, you need it to protect your own safety and security. If something happens, it will permit you to avoid financial responsibility. Auto insurance will help you to get over the financial problem that may occur!

Fortunately, a friend introduced us to a website : TopCheapInsurance.com. This site will help you to decide which proper insurance company will give you the best services and prices. You can find there a comparison insurance rate and instant insurance quotes. This comparison can be your guidance in reaching your final decision.

Nowadays, many people, like we, are looking for cheap insurance quotes. By using their service, you will get what you need; because they have several plans on instant auto insurance which perfectly choose for all kind of person. Besides offering all kinds of insurance, they also have some various collections of insurance articles and tips. That information is very helpful, especially for a beginner like me.

If you still don’t have car auto insurance until now, don’t hesitate to visit TopCheapInsurance.com to seek more details regarding insurance. Reading all articles there and then you will know what you should do next.

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To be a Good Husband Guidance

I’ve made posts on qualities in a good wife. You might think how about qualities in a good husband that a wife likes? Well, this post is the answer, it’s husband’s turn now. I found this article; and I want to share it here. Happy reading…

When you were single, you could focus on your needs entirely. Now that you’re in a partnership, it just isn’t going to work. Sometimes you have to think about the family and the marriage before you think about yourself.

A marriage is a complicated thing. Being a good

husband spans a lot of territory. Sure, you need to support your family financially and raise your children with love and concern. These are two of the givens of being a good husband. But these aren’t the only duties of being a good husband.
When you talk about the interpersonal dynamics of a man/wife relationship, a lot of these dynamics involve how you communicate with one another. We send both intentional and unintentional signals to our spouse through our interpersonal communications. So a large part of being a good husband in this context is showing you are a part of the team, supporting your teammate while communicating when your need support in your turn.

1. Be Her Sounding Board
When your wife tells you her problems, she isn’t necessarily looking for a problem solver. She wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life.
A husband who hears about his wife’s problems instinctively wants to come to the rescue. But most of the time, this isn’t what your wife is looking for. You need to fill the role more of a psychologist than that of a troubleshooter. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do.”

When your wife comes to you with her problems, she isn’t looking for you to be her lawyer. And she certainly doesn’t need you to be her football coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counselor, to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.
2. Show Respect
A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.

Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.
Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.

3. Avoid Judgment
Try not to sweat the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. If you judge every action or opinion your wife has, that’s going to come through in your words and actions.

Your wife is different from you. Of course she isn’t going to perceive things the way you do. She’s had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She won’t always like what you like. She won’t behave like a man does.

It’s a good article, right? Hope husbands can learn from this. I’ll divide it into two posts, so, see you…
Source :howtoguides365
Picture source: lighteningonline.com

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Camera Critters : a Green Dragonfly

For this week, I want to share a picture from a friend. I seldom see dragonflies, so, I really like this. I forgot when is the last time I saw a dragon fly. Why dragonflies are rare nowadays?

Wanna see more animal pictures? Click the badge above; or join us to share yours…

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Tag : About Myself

Now it’s my turn to post the tag. Thanks to Sobat Nur Huda, Pak Johson Manurung and Kang Enes for giving me this tag.

1.Where is your cell phone?
If I go outside I often put my cell phone in my pants’ pocket. At home, I put it on a table.

2. Relationship?
I’m a married woman. I want to have good relationship with others.

3. Your hair?

Black, thick, short and wavy.

4. Work?
A home maker, a stay at home wife, a work at home woman.

5. Your sisters and brothers?
I have three elder brothers and zero sister. I’m the youngest.

6. Your favorit thing?
Singing, blogging, listening music.

7. Your dream last night?
I seldom can remember my dreams.

8. Your favorit drink?
Fresh water and green tea.

9. Your dream car?
A modern family car.

10. Your shoes?
Black and dark brown.

11. Your fears?
I don’t get Allah’s blessings.

12. What do you want to be in 10 years?
To be a happier person, hehehe.

13. Who did your hang out with last week?

My husband.

14. What are you not good at?
Driving a car. I’m a bad driver.

15. One of your wish list item?
Have my own baby.

16. Where you grew up?
Several towns. I was born in Bogor, and then I moved several times with my family to Palembang, Bandung and Surabaya.

17. Last thing you did?
Watched news on TV.

18. What are you wearing?
T-shirt and short pants. I’m at home.

19. Your computer?
Works fine now.

20. Your pet?
One she-cat and fish in an aquarium.

21. Your life?
Just doing my best…

22. Missing?
My late mother.

23. What are you thinking right now?
My husband. It’s week end now and he can’t be with me. He must work…

24. Your car?
My husband’s car : a black small jeep.

25. Your kitchen?
A small one at home.

26. Your favorit color?
Blue, brown, soft colors.

27. Last time you laugh?
A few hours ago; I saw a funny show on tv.

28. Last time you cried?
I forgot.

29. Love?
I have wonderful love life, to love and be loved.

30. So who wants to share their ONEs? how about?
I like to share with others, especially with people I know; but not about every thing in my life.

31. Person elected to the tag?
I allow every one to grab this tag, if they are interested…

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Are These Qualities in a Wife that a Husband Like?(2)

Below are the other qualities:

7) Be an equal partner in bed. For married couples, sexual intimacy can be an essential thing in a marriage; but it can be also less important. It’s a private matter for couples, I don’t want to add more here. Actually, the author wrote a different statement; but I don’t agree with her opinion, so, it’s my own perspective.

8) Plan surprises. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it. Your surprises don’t have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.

9) Express your love and appreciation often. Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he's interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else or give him a thoughtful gift once in a while.

10) Honesty, loyalty and dedication. A good wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.

11) Take care of herself. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance everyday.

12) Be a good home maker. Apart from this, be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining.

Of course, these qualities are too idealistic, but you’re able to learn from it, though I think a perfect wife like this is very rare (or impossible?). As a wife, I don’t have all those qualities; but as long as you can apply open communication and you understand one another, you can have a happy marriage life.

Picture source:bayareaweddingsoup.com

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