You already have a child and another one is on its way? Well, good for
you! Bringing another person into existence is certainly a joyous occasion.
However, you may be wondering how your older child will react. Maybe he or she
will have no problems whatsoever with accepting the new sibling. However, as
there's no way to be sure of that, you
should do what you can to make sure that your child is ready for the arrival of
his or her sibling. Preparing your child for a new sibling can
be hard, but don't worry, as we've got you covered.
Toddlers
Depending on the
age of your child, you can do different things to make sure that the child accepts
the upcoming sibling. Naturally, we'll begin with toddlers (children that are
one or two-years-old). Children of this age know and understand very little of
the world surrounding them. Even the concept of having a sibling will be hard
for them to grasp.
Still, if you have
a toddler, there are things that you can do in order to prepare your child for
a new sibling. The general
idea is that you should try to rub off your excitement on your toddler.
While the toddler won't really understand what is happening, if it feels your
enthusiasm, there's a good chance that it will become enthusiastic itself.
Obviously, one of the ways to do that is to talk about the new baby.
You've probably been communicating with your child ever since it was born (by
the way, here are some tips on how
to communicate with your baby that should prepare you for the arrival of
your new child), so you probably already have a good idea on how to talk about
the new sibling.
Apart from talking, you can
also look at picture books that deal with babies.
Not only will your child learn some important words that are related to
families (such as "brother" and "sister"), but he or she
will also become excited upon seeing the "heroes" of the book in
person. After your new child is born, you can do something nice for the toddler
to make sure that it understands that it is still loved. You can, for example,
buy a nice gift or create
an ultimate game room.
Preschoolers
Preschoolers are children between the ages of two and four. These children will understand a lot
more than toddlers. That is why they might feel threatened. In
all likelihood, they're very attached to you and the fact that the entire family
is spending so much time focusing on the new arrival might make them jealous.
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| Preparing your child for a new sibling might be especially hard when it comes to preschool children |
In this case, preparing your child for a new sibling can be much harder.
This is especially true if there are currently stressful and time-consuming
things happening in your life. Try to get the other members of your family to
help you out with these things or find ways to more easily deal with them by
yourself. For example, if you're moving, find the best movers that money can
buy (if you live in New Jersey, the best moving company in the area is called
Ample Moving, so don't think twice and hire assistance when
packing your belongings).
Some of the things that you can do
Having enough time to deal both with the new baby and your older child
is very important, as there are many things that you can do when it comes to
preparing your child for a new sibling. Firstly, make sure that your older child
hears from you about the arrival of the new baby.
Otherwise, it may find out that it's going to have a sibling from someone else.
That could shake the child's confidence in you, thus making the situation a lot
worse.
Then, you can try to make your preschooler excited about the new
sibling. Make your older child involved in the preparations for the arrival of
the baby.
Take him or her with you when you're shopping for baby items. Buy a doll so that
your older child can look after its own "baby".
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| Taking care of a doll will help your older child to understand what's going on between you and their new sibling |
After your new baby is born, don't forget to designate a certain amount
of time that you will spend focusing on your preschooler. The activities that you do are less
important than showing your older child that you don't love it any less now
that a new child is born. And try to learn how
to recognize stress in children and what you can do to help.
Some other things that you can do
As the children of this age can be especially problematic while
accepting their new sibling, in this section we will more briefly explain what
are some other things that can you do in order to help them out:
·
Explain
honestly that having a baby is very time-consuming, so you might not have as
much time as you used to have for your older child. Still, emphasize that this
won't mean that you no longer love your older child.
·
Make sure
that your preschooler won't have any major things to learn at home when the
baby arrives. These things include toilet training and sleeping in a bed, and
not in a crib. The older child might fail at these tasks, which wouldn't be
healthy in such a stressful period.
·
Your
preschooler might seemingly regress when it comes to certain areas of life.
However, that is normal and it is just a way of asking for attention. Don't
punish the child and provide it with the attention that it requires.
·
While mom is
busy taking care of the new sibling, dad can spend time with the older child.
This is a great opportunity for some father and son bonding.
School-aged children
If your older child has five or more years, that in all likelihood means
that it's attending school. School-aged
children will not feel as threatened by the new arrival as preschoolers.
In this case, preparing your child for a new sibling will probably not be too
hard.
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| School-aged children will more easily deal with having a new sibling. |
Similarly to preschoolers, school-aged children will also benefit from
being involved in preparations for the arrival of their new sibling. The
difference is that they can do different things during this process. For
example, you can have them buy diapers or help with getting the baby's room
ready.
Another similarity with preschoolers in this situation is that you should keep spending special
time with your school-aged child as well. You can do all sorts
of things. Read books together, listen to music or even buy them an instrument
and encourage them to practice if they enjoy playing it (if that instrument is
a piano and you're moving to or from New Jersey, Ample Moving will help you to transport
your precious piano).
To conclude
While this can definitely be some very helpful advice, at the end of the
day, just using your best judgement could be enough. Show your older child that you still
love it and give it all the attention you can. We're confident
that everything will work out in the end, and that the new siblings will grow
to love and respect each other until the end of their lives.
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