Handling Quarreling Children

As parent, dealing with your fighting children could be one of your most frustrating things. I’ve ever been in the same situation – with my two fighting nephew and niece. They were still yelling each other; but it already gave me headache. Aww, I need to learn more! That’s why I’m glad that I found these practical guidelines. I rewrite and share it for you.

The first rule is ignoring the small argues.
You can interfere if quarreling becomes physical. Quarreling is a normal part of any child’s social development, so, most children will go through this ‘quarreling’ stage. It becomes parent’s responsibility to ensure that your children are learning ways of dealing with disagreements.

The second rule: you should really try not to tell off or get offend with just one of the children, as it generally takes two to fight. If your children are old enough, ask each child to tell their story of the events leading up to the argument.

For older children (teenagers), you could ask them how they would stop quarreling children when they are parents themselves. After getting these suggestions, ask them if they could live by the rules that they just suggested. If the answer is ‘yes’, take their ideas and stick them on the fridge door or family notice board for upcoming use.

In the case that you find out that the fight was caused by a specific item, try taking out the objects that cause squabbles among younger children. If you know your child and a friend always fight over the same toy, remove it before the friend comes to visit. Another option: get two of the same kind of toy that way each child would have one to play with.

You can also try to make a game out of sharing. Hand them a toy and take it smoothly back. Repeat until your child is happy to hand it over to you. After this has been successful a few times between yourself and your child, expand the game to include other children as well. You teach your child that it’s OK to share with everyone and not just you.

When fighting breaks out in the car, here are things that you should do. Pull over to a safe spot and find out what is going on. Make clear to your children that you can’t drive with them fighting like that because it’s a distraction and could cause an accident. It may be shocking, but this method works well with children as young as three.

If your children seem to be frequently fighting, ask yourself these questions to help you:
Are you favoring one unconsciously?
Are they happy at school?
Are they hungry?

The third rule: consistency. Be steady with how you face any given condition dealing with a fight/argument. This will make your children know what to anticipate in any given situation. Write out a list of house rules, such as no playing with the ball near the window, no yelling each other, etc.

In the event that you have to discipline your children for fighting or arguing, you can always separate them for a time. Typically half an hour will work for younger children, as after about fifteen minutes they will be asking to play with each other once again. You can also inform them about your own childhood quarreling with your brothers or sisters, since it shows them that everyone has troubles with their family as they grow up.

Source: family.tips.net