Know More Your Spouse!

We all know that women and men are psychic different, but there’s no need to exaggerate it. Have you heard the term ‘the battle of the sexes’? I think it’s not proper to judge the differences of women and men like that. These differences shouldn’t become the source of arguing, because women and men minds can complement one another, right?

If women and men can comprehend each basic needs and thinking ways, there would be more possibility that couples can build real harmonies between them. The study concerning the psychic differences between men and women has been conducted for years by Jane Sherrod Singer, M.A. Psychology & Education.

In this post, I’ll mention several results of her study in form of ‘true or false’ statements (I think it’s more fun!). Let’s answer it and find out how far you know your spouse…

1. Men believe in superstition more than women. True or False?
Answer: False. Women believe in superstition more!

2. There are more men who commit suicide. True or False?
Answer: True. There’s an observation in US and Europe stated that men can be more easily to commit suicide.

3. Men have more desire to improve and develop their personalities. True or False?
Answer: False. Women have more desire in it; they like to attend seminars, visit art galleries, read books, etc.

4. Men are more selfish. True or False?
Answer: False. Men want to give more and they are less selfish than their wives. (What? before, I think that men are more selfish than women!)

5. Men are more religious. True or False?
Answer: False. Women are more religious.

6. Men tend to think about themselves more often. True or False?
Answer: False. In case of business matter, female employees think about their own personal problems more often.

7. Men need joy and adventure more. True or False?
Answer: True. Men need joy more because one of men’s nature characters is they tend to be more nervous than women.

8. Men like to exaggerate things more. True or False?
Answer: False. Men less like to exaggerate things, they like to boast more!

9. Men set up the higher standard for themselves. True or False?
Answer: True. Men are more idealist and they tend to determine higher standard.

10. Men like harsh joke more. True or False?
Answer: True. Based on research at high school and university, male students like to do harsh jokes to the juniors.

11. Men are more honest. True or False?
Answer: False. See no. 8 answer: men like to boast.

12. Men get bored more easily. True or False?
Answer: True. Women can sit to knit for hours; men prefer more energetic activities.

13. Men can be happier. True or False?
Answer: False. Women can be happier and also sadder.

14. Men’s emotion is more stable. True or False?
Answer: True. Women are more easily to feel sad, worried and anxious. The fear in women can be more intense than men.

Give one value for every right answer, and then count it up…
12-14: remarkable value. You have ability to adapt yourself so well to your spouse.
5-11: average value. Sometimes your spouse still makes you feel confused.
0-4: this value shows that you aren’t intuitive person or in other words, you less want to observe or to pay attention to your spouse. If you intend to maintain your marriage, you must fix it right away!Rewrite source:Intisari and google

The picture is taken from clker.com

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Unsecured Business Loans: Apply It to Fulfill Your Business Needs!

Are you running a small business right now? As a small business owner, you know definitely that your business needs continuance of financial support. If you have problems in your business cash flow, what can you do to solve it? Let’s assume that there is no problem with the cash flow, but you are planning to expand your business, what can you do to get the required additional finance? Well, of course, you should apply a business loan, or, precisely, an unsecured business loan.

Unsecured business loans can turn out to be the finest financial source for your small business. If you can’t afford to place any asset, there’s no need to worry, because unsecured business loan is a loan without demand of collateral to pledge. What a relief…

So, if you have run your business more than two years and you have at least a 680 credit score with no recent derogatory marks on your credit; you are welcomed to start unsecured small business loan online application process. Or you can call (888) 890-1679 to find out more helpful information. Wish you a success on your business!

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Husband and Wife’s Funny Moments

To cheer up your day, I’ll share funny things here. It can make me smile, I hope you, too…

Joe, the husband, is so forgetful. He figured out a way to remember his wife’s birthday and their wedding anniversary. He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed “Your loving husband”. His wife, Suzy, was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary. So, that day, Joe came home, saw the bouquet, kissed Suzy, and said, “Nice flowers, honey. Where did you get them?” Isaac Witty, Reader’s Digest
I don’t like exercising. Yesterday my wife said,”Let’s walk around the block”.
I said,” Why? We’re already here”. Wendell Potter, Reader’s Digest
The picture is taken from webclipart.about.com

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What Does A Happy Family Mean to You?

Would you like to share your mind more about the meaning of a happy family to yourself? Please share it in comment section…

Keluarga bahagia sesuai tuntuan Islam tentu terkait dengan kondisi suatu keluarga yang di dalamnya terkandung unsur sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah. Sebuah buku berjudul Perempuan karya Ustad Quraish Shihab menjelaskan dengan indah dan terperinci makna ini. Saya kutip sekilas saja ya, untuk mengingatkan kembali kita semua...

Sakinah mengandung makna ketenangan, lahir dan batin. Sakinah terlihat pada ketenangan lahir yang tercermin pada kecerahan raut muka yang disertai kelapangan dada serta budi bahasa halus yang dilahirkan oleh ketenangan batin. Ketenangan batin bisa terwujud dengan menyatunya pemahaman dan kesucian hati, serta bergabungnya kejelasan pandangan dengan tekad yang kuat.

Mawaddah mengandung arti kelapangan dada dan kekosongan jiwa dari kehendak buruk. Ustad Quraish Shihab mengalami kesulitan dalam menemukan padanan kata mawaddah dalam bahasa Indonesia karena kata ‘cinta’ belum dapat menggambarkannya secara utuh. Makna mawaddah bisa dijelaskan melalui dampak mawaddah yang telah bersemai dalam jiwa seseorang. Hati yang telah dipenuhi mawaddah terlihat ketika yang bersangkutan tidak rela pasangannya disentuh oleh sesuatu yang bisa ‘mengeruhkan’ pasangannya. Dia bersedia menampung keburukan, mengorbankan diri dan menjaga orang-orang terkasihnya dari hal-hal buruk.

Rahmah berarti rasa sayang. Keluarga rahmah adalah keluarga yang didasarkan pada rasa cinta kasih dan sayang di antara komponen-komponen keluarga di dalamnya.

Sources : Perempuan karya M. Quraish Shihab and google , Happy Family Group-Facebook
The picture is taken from istockphoto.com

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Conditional Love: Why Parents Should Avoid It?

Conditional love, have you already familiarized with this term? Why you, as parents, should avoid it? In this post I’ll describe a little about the possible consequences of the presence conditional love in parenting matter. In my point of view, it’s important for us to know how parents should give affection to their child in appropriate way. Let’s move on…

Parents who apply conditional love will only give and show their affection if their children become obedient ones, have high achievement or have given pride to their family. Otherwise, these kinds of parents will only give much reduced affection or the worst, the child will be neglected. What a poor child…

It may not mention straightly, but in their daily life, in attitude or words expression, these parents will show their disappointment if their child can’t fulfill the parents’ expectation. For example, the child failed to enter the favorite school or the child didn’t include in top ten ranks at class.

An expert said: if these parents ask to their child is translated into question form, it will become: “How can you make us proud?” NOT “How can you be happy?”
Can you see the big differences here?

One of the reasons why there are still parents that raise their child with conditional love is the strong influence of society values that always connect meaning of success with an academic achievement (in form of academic titles, certificates), an occupation and material achievement (the ownership of luxury cars, big houses, etc).

With such material orientation; people around us tend to respect more to someone who physically appears in various achievements, occupations or wealth assets. It’s the fact that truly happens in our society: the materialism! Moreover, it’s still dominant until now. In order to reach all those material attributes, consciously or unconsciously, parents will push their child to enter the best school, to be the best student, etc.

So, you may want to know, what will possibly happen with the child that raised in a family with conditional love?

• The child won’t be given a chance to choose.
• The child happiness isn’t emphasized here; in fact, the child becomes a tool to fill the parents’ need of self pride.
• The child won’t be whole accepted, because the parents use terms on almost everything.
• The child is raised to meet a society demand in order to get society acknowledgment as a person with wealth, academic achievement and occupation.
• Being pushed to meet the demand, the child will not be able to recognize her/his personal needs, in other words, the child is not used to recognize her/his feeling and emotion.
• The child may suffer unbalance in intelligence development and emotional intelligence. This poor emotional intelligence may encourage the child to have an extreme and rebel attitude.
• The child feels heavily burdened by the parents’ demands. He or she will try to let go of the burden; it may also encourage the child to be a problematic person one day.

Well, you can see now, how destructive conditional love is. Children happiness must be parents’ most priority, right? Don’t demand our children too much, we should give them secure and freedom to develop their talents and abilities (of course, as parents, you should still direct your children). Let’s give our children unconditional love, accept and love them just the way they are…

Other sources : Intisari and google
The picture is taken from http://tlc.discovery.com

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Husbands: Don’t Hesitate to Say “Thank You” to Your Wife!

Having received a poem gift last week makes me more realize about the importance of sincerely often saying “thank you” in tightening a relationship between husband and wife. I become to feel that I’m a special person; I feel that I was appreciated, at least, by my husband… It truly gives me more energy and enthusiasm to go through my following life. Do you also experience how powerful the sincere “thank you” expression in your daily marriage life?

I remembered that I’ve ever read a wife’s true experience on a psychology article of a newspaper. The wife suffered depression, lack of self confidence, moreover, she felt useless and so empty inside her heart. She had it so badly until she wanted to kill herself. Fortunately, she’s a smart woman; she’s trying to know what exactly happened to her by consulting her condition to an expert.

The woman, well, let’s call her Ann here, was used to be a career woman. After getting pregnant, Ann decided to be a full stay at home wife. Was it that made her depressed? No, Ann said that she can enjoy the life as a stay at home wife, nothing problem with that. Ann also said that Bill, the husband, have never hurt her physically. Time goes by, Ann felt harder and harder to go through her daily life. She did her routines in empty heart and mind.

Ann’s friends and relatives hadn’t never suspected how bad her psychic condition. From the outside, people around her looked Ann’s family as a happy one. She lives at a beautiful house, Bill is a successful person and her daughter is healthy and adorable. What Ann didn’t have actually?

After several therapies with a psychologist, the answer was revealed. It turned out that Ann has never get thankful expression from her husband. Bill NEVER SAID “thank you” to Ann, for everything she’s done, Bill has never given emotional interaction, NEVER! Can you imagine how bad the consequences of never having sincere thankful expression to a smart woman like Ann? Poor her…

Yes, I wrote a woman’s story here, but it doesn’t mean that a wife doesn’t need to do the same thing. At every appropriate moment, a wife shouldn’t hesitate to say “thank you” to her husband, too. I wrote this post just for reminding all of us, married couples, how we sometimes forget to say simple words but very important thing like “thank you” to our beloved partner. Hope we all get the lesson...

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A Poem Gift

Since this morning, after having sick for weeks, my hubby has begin his daily routines, running a small restaurant that belongs to his big brother. I’m so happy to see him able to do his activities again…

Last Friday, my hubby gave me a short beautiful poem. He said that it was a thankful gift for my gentle caring while he’s sick those days. It’s a big surprise because he has never done like this before. Was I touched? Of course!!! It’s no needed a ring or a bunch of red roses to please a wife… Husbands, a make-it- yourself poem like this is so priceless…

Well, I want to share the poem in this post. The poem is in Indonesian language, because his English is worse than me (sorry, hubby…). I’ll mention the original one first and then its translation. You may think it’s just an ordinary and nothing special poem, but, for me, it’s full of deepest love...

Sobat semua, di sini saya ingin berbagi sebuah puisi yang saya terima dari suami pada hari Jum’at lalu. Dia bilang, puisi ini adalah tanda terima kasih karena telah mendampinginya selama sakit. Mungkin Sobat bilang ini sih puisi ‘gombal’ biasa saja; tapi bagi seorang istri seperti saya, mendapat hadiah sebuah puisi ‘gombal’ seperti ini adalah LUAR BIASA, karena saya tahu, ada kedalaman cinta di dalamnya… Ayo dong, Sobat yang para suami, buat istri Sobat bahagia dengan mempersembahkan puisi untuknya!!
Kau adalah pujaanku ketika aku ingin memuja

Kau seperti darah yang mengalir dalam hidupku

Kau tidaklah pantas untuk kuberikan kasih sayang...tapi kau berhak mendapatkannya dengan sepenuh hati dariku

Kau bukanlah sebuah altar... tapi ... kau seperti altar yang selalu medapat pujian & pujaan

Kau bukan manusia biasa...dalam hidupku, kau adalah seorang yang luar biasa

Wahai Istriku nan cantik budi pekertinya, aku sangat menyayangi & mengagumimu

Cinta dan kasih sayangku yang biasa dan istimewa, semua ingin kuberikan untukmu...
I’ve translated the poem for you:

You are my adoration when I want to adore
You are like blood that running in my life
You are not decent to be given love… but you deserve to have completely love from me
You are not an altar…but…you are like an altar that always get compliment and worship
You are not an ordinary person…in my life, you are an extraordinary one
My beloved kind wife, I love and adore you so much
My love and affection -ordinary and special- I want to give it all to you…

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