>> Jan 16, 2013
One of the worst things you can do for your child is treat them like best friends. You want to be a best parent — not best friend. Your job as the parent is to teach, nurture, advise, discipline and support. . . not be the BEST FRIEND. Often times, you can spot the parents that are friends rather than parents — their kids are unruly, talk back and just plain disrespectful.
Don't let your child become like this: Being a parent requires you to make some tough and often unpopular calls, but that's your job. You're the parent, not children!
Here's how you can become a respected parent and not BFFs:
Parent Your Children 'Old School'
Often referred to as "old school" is the parenting style that parents have strayed from in recent years. Over the past 20 years parents have become too permissive and over indulgent. As the parent, it's your job to make the tough calls, which is to say "NO," more than you say "yes." Old school parents were taught their parenting skills from grandparents, and all of their words of wisdom passed down from generation to generation.
The reputation of old school parenting is generally parents with strict guidelines and rules, and they never seem to indulge their children with lots of extras. And this has worked. . . now parents talk to their children through mobile devices and computers. Pastor Ed Young had a very traditional method of teaching and disciplining his children with his wife. A successful father, husband, pastor and author. Ed Young wrote the book "The 10 Commandments of Parenting: The Do's and Don'ts for Raising Great Kids." Some tips include:
- Thou Shalt Discipline Thy Children
- Thou Shalt Encourage Thy Children
- Thou Shalt Not Be a Passive Parent
- Thou Shalt Teach Thy Children
Your Kids Will Hate You
Joan Robach, a mother and grandmother, said that she was very disciplined with her kids when they were growing up and often said no.
"My kids didn't like me when they were teenagers and that's OK, that's a good sign,” Robach said in an interview with CafeMom (.com). “If your kids love you and think you're just the coolest mom ever, you're probably making a lot of mistakes."
Yes, hearing your children utter the words "I hate you!" or "you're the worst mother in the whole world!" will hurt. A lot. But they don't actually mean those words. Often times, teenage hormones take control and they just blame all their aggression and anger towards the “mean parents.”
Be Tough, Not Timid
Oprah Radio host Rabbi Shmuley says that it's downright irresponsible to be your child's best friend. You should never parent out of fear. If you don't act like you're the one in charge and, in turn, show them your weak side, they'll disrespect you.
Author: Athena Newton. A recent MFA graduate, Athena writes about fashion and celebrity trends in the U.S. and Europe. She loves following trends and seeing how history repeats and reinterprets itself through fashion.