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Four Communication Styles of a Married Couple

>> Jun 27, 2009

Do you have an open communication and warm relationship with your couple? Can you communicate well with her or him? If all answers are ‘no’, it seems that there’s something wrong with the way you communicate. A married couple shouldn’t let this condition happen off-hand because it can lead to a bigger problem.

Before fixing this problem, you have to know first what your present communication style is. Here are these four communication styles:

Controlling style. A married couple who use this style usually doesn’t want to hear other’s talk and tends to eliminate different opinion. Example: if a wife begins to talk, a husband doesn’t want to listen and will cut the talk with more long explanation or it turns out to be an arguing with yelling each other.

In this situation, actually the wife needs advice or solution not just a do and don’t instructions. An expert says that they who apply this style don’t want to appreciate their couple’s idea and feeling and tend to force their own desires. For them, it’s more important to be a ‘never wrong’ person than maintaining a good relationship.

Conventional style. There is no open discussion or conversation on important matters between a husband and a wife. He or she tend to avoid a discussion by distracting attention to other unrelated matter.

Example : if a wife want to discuss about child’s problem, a husband will avoid this by changing the topic to another simple topic such as weather or daily activities. An expert says that this married couple actually apply an artificial communication which there is lack of respect to couple’s feeling.
Speculative style. They generally have open mind to receive and appreciate their couple’s ideas and opinion, but this style users usually finish off their times to ask many undirected questions more than to just express their true feelings.
For example: a husband wants to ask her wife to accompany him on a business trip. Instead of inviting her directly, a husband asks many questions and guesses her wife’s feeling and want. The conversation turns out to be an asking each other and it usually ends with no fair solution.

In this situation, the married couple not only doesn’t express his or her true feeling but also ‘running’ around the talked topic. It will cause a misunderstanding between them.

Full contact style. This style applied by a married couple who wants to listen and appreciate her or his couple’s opinion. They don’t hesitant to discuss every important problem and to express their own desires. This husband and wife always try to maintain their good relationship by building an open and respectful communication.

From all those communication styles, the full contact style is the most appropriate style that should be applied by each married couple to keep their marriage life in intimate and harmonic relationship.
Well readers, what communication style is yours? If you realize now that there’s a problem in your marriage, this article may not give you yet a comprehensive information that you need. You should search more information in wikipedia or google.

About This Blog and Me!

Welcome to my blog. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
This blog contains articles in family topic.
Contact me at linalg4@gmail.com

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