Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents

>> Mar 11, 2019



Co-parenting after a split is rarely easy. You might feel stressed about child support, concerned about your partner’s ability to take care of your child, or worn out by constantly trying to balance parenting, work, friends, and life.

If you don’t feel like you get enough time with your child due to a less-than-ideal parenting plan, you may be tempted to give up and not even bother to schedule time with your child. Men divorce attorneys say this is not the answer. The experts believe that amicable parenting is the only solution to end conflicts between co-parents and ensure your children’s well-being. So, for the sake of the children, it is definitely possible for parents to devise a way to overcome parenting challenges and develop a cordial relationship with their ex-partner.
image:pixabay.com/illustrations/divorce-child-custody-custody-2321087
Fathers often face a particularly tricky time co-parenting; they’re usually the non-custodial parent and frequently spend fewer hours with the kids than their mother does. Therefore, more often than not, it can be difficult for fathers to maintain an active role in their kids’ lives. Luckily, if you follow a few easy steps, you can achieve a successful co-parenting relationship with your ex.

Keep all communications in check

Many co-parenting fathers and men divorce attorneys in New Jersey swear this is the most crucial guideline of all. Poor communication habits or a total lack of communication (often the same habits that caused issues in the marriage) prevents co-parents form establishing a working relationship between themselves and maintaining a parental role with their kids.

As their father, keep the connection alive with your children by scheduling phone calls with them and keeping a tab on their life. That way, you won’t feel left out when you see them after days or weeks.

Use multiple communication channels to talk to your co-parent: phone calls, email, texting, and even social media. Remember to keep your conversations courteous, short, and mindful, no matter what the platform is.

Remember, it’s about the kids

Sometimes, you might feel frustrated with your ex for something they said or did. Instead of lashing out at them, think from the perspective of your children and do the right thing. Hold back anger and regret and focus all your energy on your children and what’s best for them. When a father loses his grip on the situation and fails to control his temper, it can send the wrong message to his children. Remember, your children did not ask for this situation. Focus on doing everything in your power to make it easier for them.

Pursue your children

Fathers often aren’t vocal about their feelings; if this is you, try change that now. In a co-parenting setup, you need to volunteer to get involved in your children’s lives and keep that connection between you and them. If you don’t make efforts to get involved in your children’s lives, you risk checking out of their lives.

Every time you talk to your kids, make sure you’re passionate about what they have to say. Learn about the upcoming events at their school and schedule time to attend and offer support however you can. Staying active and engaged in your children’s lives will help you maintain a close bond with them.

Come together for the kids

There would be no greater joy for your children than to see their parents together at important events, whether it’s a birthday party, sports game, or school event. Let go of any negative emotions and come together to celebrate these moments with them.

If you can, take your kids on an outing with your co-parent and spend quality time with them. If things ended badly with your spouse, this might take a while. But, make sure you practice it as frequently as you can. It’s essential for children to see their parents in a healthy relationship because it makes them more secure and happy.

Make your home your children’s

It will be weird for your children to see you living in a new home. Do everything you can to make them feel at home when they come over to spend time with you. Let your kids have a separate bedroom with their favorite toys and games in it. You can also encourage your kids to bring their friends over to your place when they come. These small steps will go a long way in communicating that they are important to you.

Be respectful and forgiving

Be the bigger person when petty conflicts happen. Losing your temper over insignificant issues is the last thing you want to do. Be respectful of your ex-spouse at all times, especially in front of the kids. It will be very detrimental to your children to see their parents fighting. Take on a forgiving attitude and don’t nitpick. Let the little things pass so you can keep your focus on the bigger picture.

Maintain consistency

Be consistent with your promises. Establish a ritual to meet and connect with your kids and keep up with it. If they know you will play board games with them once a month, don’t let anything get in the way of your plan. Keep your connection consistent with them to not feel left out of their life.

Communicate your plans with your ex well in advance to avoid any confusion or overlapping of schedules. If you see your kids consistently, they will know they are always on your mind and your top priority.

Go beyond the fun

Mothers often complain that all their ex does when he has the kids is have fun. Don’t be that kind of a father. Take part in regular activities such as school schedules, homework, and extracurriculars.

Keeping a balance between the monotonous activities and the fun part will avoid any jealousy or competition between you and your ex and will help create a healthier environment for all.

There’s no denying that a father’s relationship with his children is irreplaceable. Don’t expect the mother to take on your role. Follow up with your responsibilities as a father whether or not you have custody of your children.

The quality of your relationship with your children will have a powerful impact on their overall well-being and identity. When both parents participate in co-parenting their kids after divorce, they grow up to be confident, secure, and resilient adults.

About Author :-
Brad M. Micklin, Esq., is the lead family lawyer Montclair and managing member at The Micklin Law Group, LLC. For more than 22 years, he has helped men through some of the toughest, most emotional experiences in their lives, including child custody battles.

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