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Emotional Affair vs Sexual Affair (2)

>> Oct 22, 2009

As I said before, I continue my previous post here. Here are the following points:

What are the possible causal factors of emotional affair?
A married man or woman can get into this emotional affair for various reasons, but, basically, there are two main reasons. First, you are in unstable emotion or having stress. Second, there are certain emotional needs that you can’t get in your marriage.

Emotional affair, that can be seems so enjoyable, will be your appropriate ‘running away’ place from your life crisis. If you can’t settle your causes of stress, this emotional affair can be your weak point that can destroy your marriage...
Why emotional affair can be more dangerous than sexual affair?
Sexual affair isn’t the only one of cheating type. You still can hurt your husband even though you avoid intimating physically with him. In fact, emotional affair is more destructive than sexual affair. You and your emotional lover act like continuing your ‘honeymoon’. For you, he is your idol. Both of you connect strongly because there’s feeling and emotion involved.

Most cheating people won’t leave their spouse just because they have already enjoyed wonderful sexual affair with someone else. But, cheating people will leave their present spouse if they already have feeling or emotion in their heart for their lover. That’s why emotional affair can be ensued worse than sexual affair; that’s why you should avoid this!

What you should do to end your emotional affair?
If you’re having this emotional affair and you want to get out of it; there are some tips that can help you:
  • Ask yourself, what you see on him; and then ask your husband, whether he can do the things that you see on ‘your lover’. Example: he wants to listen to your opinion, while your husband doesn’t have time and patience for you. Tell your husband what do you need and fix your communication immediately.
  • Find the good things of your husband. Write it down into a list and read it three times a day. Increase your logical thinking by remembering your husband’s good deeds and your beautiful marriage moment. Talk nice things about your husband to your friends and colleagues; and put your husband’s picture on your work table!
  • Find your lover’s mistakes. Make a list of his badness and read it three times a day to decrease your feeling to him. Be honest to yourself; if you have remembered and imagined all bad things about him, are you still attracted?
  • Limit your contact with your emotional lover. If he is your work colleague, don’t meet him alone; always bring someone or more with you. Take control of yourself more and stop your emotional affair right away before it’s too late!
  • Ask your closest friend or someone else that you can trust to help you getting out of this emotional affair.
Well, we aren’t holy people anyway, so, I think it’s all right if you attract with someone emotionally and have a good relationship with him; as long as you realize the borders, as long as you don’t experience the emotional affair signs, and you can maintain yourself not to pass through the borders. You may also admire someone, and it’s all right, but you must be able to differentiate between fantasy and reality, and you can let it go if you start to feel ‘it’s already overreacting’.

An expert said that what married people need from their spouse is: being accepted without criticism, appreciated, listened, cared, and able to do things that they like together. There’s also one thing, married people also need jealousy feeling (but not the blind one) of their spouse. Sweet jealousy is one sign of love, right? Let’s maintain our marriage by applying those…

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Welcome to my blog. I'm a home maker, a stay at home wife. I'm just an ordinary woman who has interest in reading, working at home and learning to write. We live in Bogor, Indonesia.
This blog contains articles in family topic.
Contact me at linalg4@gmail.com

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