Parenting Your Child to Face the First School Days

This comic strip of Patterson Family by Lynn Johnson (I’m a big fan of her comic) describes the trouble that may occur in your family life every time your children have to face their first day in school. The fear of facing change and all new things, the lack of self confidence may cause this trouble.

Michael (boy) : I hate that dumb kindergarten,an' I'm never going back EVER !

Elly (mom) : You don't have to go back, Michael. It's over for the summer and in September you start Grade 1!

Elly (mom) : You'll never go back to kindergarten again

Michael (boy) : WAAAAH

Here are simple steps for you to prepare your child facing his/her big day:

Step 1
Make her or him enjoy to study and to learn something new first. This is your important job as parents to build your child’s fondness for study. Your child should have a strong foundation of study fondness. An expert said that you can start teaching your child since she or he is still in mom’s uterus.

You should know what learning style is of your child. Is he or she an auditory learner, a visual learner or a kinesthetic learner? Give a playfull and pleasure atmosphere every time you teach something to them. Use attractive tools that suit with your child’s learning style in describing things, have a walk together around the neighborhood while introducing things that you’ve seen during the walk, or have a fun learning in internet by using specific browser for kids.

Step 2
Prepare your child as soon as possible (at least a month) before the big day; especially if it is his or her first time to go to school or a new school. Start to wake up your child a little earlier each morning and move bedtime upward to make a new sleeping habit.

Step 3
Plan a "ready-to-school" shopping day with your child and make it a special event. No need to buy all things. You can reuse things that it’s still in good condition, but buy something special to your child (example: a hot cartoon pencil case, drinking bottle, etc).

Step 4
For a new year in a new school, introduce the school environment to your child before so that she or he doesn’t feel entering a strange place. Make an earlier visit to the school a week or at least one day before the first day. Ask your child together to walk around the school and make your child known the location of his or her classrooms, bathrooms and lunchroom.

Step 5
Telling your child how to go to school everyday. Introduce the route to school. If your child will take the school bus, find out the route and try it first together a few times there and back until your child understands it.

Step 6
Celebrate the big day. There are some options: ask your child out to his or her favorite eating place, have a special meal at home in the night before, or give a small gift.

rewrite source : www.ehow.com

Do you have another tips that you applied in your own family? Please share your ideas and don’t hesitant to add it on the comment section.

Read also the related article :How to Overcome Coward Child

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Four Communication Styles of a Married Couple

Do you have an open communication and warm relationship with your couple? Can you communicate well with her or him? If all answers are ‘no’, it seems that there’s something wrong with the way you communicate. A married couple shouldn’t let this condition happen off-hand because it can lead to a bigger problem.

Before fixing this problem, you have to know first what your present communication style is. Here are these four communication styles:

Controlling style. A married couple who use this style usually doesn’t want to hear other’s talk and tends to eliminate different opinion. Example: if a wife begins to talk, a husband doesn’t want to listen and will cut the talk with more long explanation or it turns out to be an arguing with yelling each other.

In this situation, actually the wife needs advice or solution not just a do and don’t instructions. An expert says that they who apply this style don’t want to appreciate their couple’s idea and feeling and tend to force their own desires. For them, it’s more important to be a ‘never wrong’ person than maintaining a good relationship.

Conventional style. There is no open discussion or conversation on important matters between a husband and a wife. He or she tend to avoid a discussion by distracting attention to other unrelated matter.

Example : if a wife want to discuss about child’s problem, a husband will avoid this by changing the topic to another simple topic such as weather or daily activities. An expert says that this married couple actually apply an artificial communication which there is lack of respect to couple’s feeling.

Speculative style. They generally have open mind to receive and appreciate their couple’s ideas and opinion, but this style users usually finish off their times to ask many undirected questions more than to just express their true feelings.

For example: a husband wants to ask her wife to accompany him on a business trip. Instead of inviting her directly, a husband asks many questions and guesses her wife’s feeling and want. The conversation turns out to be an asking each other and it usually ends with no fair solution.

In this situation, the married couple not only doesn’t express his or her true feeling but also ‘running’ around the talked topic. It will cause a misunderstanding between them.

Full contact style. This style applied by a married couple who wants to listen and appreciate her or his couple’s opinion. They don’t hesitant to discuss every important problem and to express their own desires. This husband and wife always try to maintain their good relationship by building an open and respectful communication.

From all those communication styles, the full contact style is the most appropriate style that should be applied by each married couple to keep their marriage life in intimate and harmonic relationship.

Well readers, what communication style is yours? If you realize now that there’s a problem in your marriage, this article may not give you yet a comprehensive information that you need. You should search more information in wikipedia or google.

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Super Dad

A super dad is really needed in a family! Hi dad, would you like to be a super dad by actively increasing your role at home?

Well, this article is still related with a previous post about after giving birth syndrome. In this case a role of a husband is very important to make a wife feel more comfortable. A dad should involve more actively in baby caring. The opinion that baby caring is a job for a mom only begins to change nowadays. It’s a team work of both parents. Don’t you agree with this also?

An expert in children psychology said that the active role of a dad in new born baby caring have a positive impact. Direct touches of a dad gives physically and psychic effect to a baby; it will build strong inner bond between you and your baby. There are many simple things that a dad can do to care a baby such as holding, touching, putting a baby to bed, changing a diaper, accompanying a baby, etc.

The expert suggests that a dad should participate in caring a baby as often as he can. These are the golden times as a dad; you should enjoy this experience, it may not repeat again!

Want to be a super dad already? Here are practical tips for you:

• If the baby hasn’t been born yet, learn seriously how to take care a baby first. It’s better if you and your wife take a short course on caring a new born baby at a local hospital. On this course you’ll learn various activities in caring a baby such as how to bathe, to message, to hold, to lift up from a baby box, to clean a baby until to prepare a nutritious food for your breast feeding wife.


• If you don’t have enough time to take a course, search more information about this by reading a lot and asking your mother or sister or aunt or anyone else that you trust to give you a lesson.


• Your new born baby is at home! Let your wife take a rest to recover her energy and emotional condition so that she will be stayed away from baby caring fatigue. Your role is very important to overcome the baby syndrome that can affect your wife.


• Be there each time your wife needs your help.


• Help your wife without being asked before.


• Do home tasks that your wife don’t have sufficient time to do it.


• Directly involve in caring your baby. Practice that you’ve learned!

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Awards from Bloggers' Family

Being appreciated by a friend in a huge blogger's family means A LOT to me, I feel acceptable and it motivates me to keep blogging and sharing. I hope there will be a stronger family bound among us...


14th Award Open Source













Thanks to my friends who gave me the Award Open Source :


Ronaldo Rozalino


Rizky 2009





13th award was given by Mia in Miaw's world. Thanks Mia...














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12th award was given by Rizky 2009. Thanks Mas Rizky!















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11th award: Award Friendship


















Award Friendship implies :

Green: symbolizes the new buddies
Yellow: represents the guys who are always active
Blue: symbolizes the bloggers with PR Platform
Red: symbolizes that we are all equal and that we are brothers and sisters


Big thanks to friends who gave me this award :

Shanushy 0809
Imelda
Ancis
Tee Tee



Prerequisite retrieval AWARD :

1. Create a post as above.
2. Include the link Giver Award.
3. For colleagues who have not followed this site or not exchange links, please follow or exchange links with me.
4. Copy-paste the image above or DOWNLOAD


Now, I'm passing this award to all my visitors who doesn’t have this award yet…

------------------------------------------



10th award was given by Tee Tee - ojienling. Thanks Tee Tee!

"Quote"

I Receive a unique award recently. Read more and you will find why i called this unique. I Got this award fromTee Tee , including a unique game to do and post as well. This is cute award i think and i would like to share this award too for hot female blogger out there.

Then here is the game:
1. Give this award to other female blogger you know complete with the reason why.
2. Do not forget to give a link back to the person who gave you this award
3. Try to googling this phrase: "[your name] needs"
4. Choose the top ten of the results and post it on your article
5. Find out the results.

And these are my results:
1. Lina needs miracle from God
2. Lina needs good health
3. Lina needs more energy
4. Lina needs more spare time
5. Lina needs better income
6. Lina needs increasing in blog’s page rank
7. Lina needs love
8. Lina needs to loose weight
9. Lina needs to work more efficiently
10.Lina needs to increase the writing ability

--------------------------

9th award was given by pc-maxportnoy. Big thanks to you...

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Eight award :


















Rules :
>Link the person who tagged you.
>Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post.
>Post this in one or all of your blogs.
>Answer the four questions following these Rules.
>Recruit at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them.
>Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.
>Have Fun!

Questions & Your Answers:
1. The person who tagged you : rahasia bunda - ruang sc - Dedy Rahmat

2. His/her site's title and url: http://rahasiabunda.blogspot.com/ – http://ruangsc.blogspot.com – http://dedy-rahmat74.blogspot.com
3. Date when you were tagged : August 16, 2009 – August 17,2009 – August 19,2009
4. Persons you tagged.
Sorry, I obey the 5th rule. I invite all visitors who haven’t yet had International Blogger Community award to grab it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Seventh award was given by Faye. Thanks Faye!

To accept this creative award, do the following:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
I am/have:
- a proud Indonesian woman
- married to a kind and funny guy
- no child yet
- a caring and stay at home wife
- positive thinker and realistic person
- interested in making money at home
- a cat lover
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
Sorry I don’t obey this rule cause I invite all my visitors that haven’t yet had this kind of award to grab this creative award.
6. Post links to the blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blog letting them know they have been nominated.

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Sixth award was given by Mas Wien.



This award is an award with back link. I’ll give this award to all my visitors; but there’s a simple term that you should do. Every award receiver should place links below in your post/blog:
1.Mas Doyok

2.Reza
3.Rizky

4.Omtomi

5.Ote Tatsuya

6.Irawanqq

7.BilbOyzshop

8.gr3n all information
9.Mas Wien

10.happy family

Before placing these links, erase the first participant from the list; so others will go up one level. Submit your own link to the bottom of the list (number ten). If every award receiver gives the award to at least 5 bloggers and they all do the same; the amount of back links that you can get is :
When your position is 10th, backlink amount = 1
9th position, backlink = 5
8th position, backlink = 2
7th position, backlink = 125

6th position, backlink = 625
5th position, backlink = 3,125
4th position, backlink = 15,625
3rd position, backlink = 78,125
2nd position, backlink = 390,625
1st position, backlink = 1,953,125

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Fifth award was given by coolingstar
















Fouth award was given by sobat Tjok Putra- belogsajane blog

Third award was given by sobat Danu Saputro

My second award was given by sobat Zaskia - a hacker music's blog (silly me, I lost the award picture, I'm sorry Zaskia)

My first award was given by sobat Pawewet with his saung hijau

Thanks to all of you for accepting me as a new family member. I do appreciate this and try to share this spirit to others.

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Family-Safe Internet (2)

Moms and dads, I believe that you also agree that our children could be in danger if they use the internet unless you protect them with Internet Filter Content and Parental Controls. Continuing my previous post, I add few more browsers here. You can choose one that most fits with your child’s needs.

• KidRocket 1.5 (OS : all Windows)

download here

KidRocket free kidsafe browser offers you a great way to introduce the internet to your child on your own terms. The design is colorful and playful without beeing too loud. You feel as though you’re in a space station!

The browser works really well and you’ll love the setup of its interface. It has features : new kids email, timelock time limiter and password-protected fullscreen lockdown mode that prevents anyone from exiting, minimizing or accessing the admin settings without a password. Your child can become addicted to the drawing and painting tools, and the math flashcards.

You can’t add your own web sites to the list of preset sites, but, it has preset with lots of kid-friendly web sites, such as Nickelodeon, PBS Kids and Barbie. It’s really a fun and free internet filter that offers many fun, educational and interactive activities for children and parents alike.

• ZAC browser 1.1.7 (OS: Compatible with Windows Vista - XP - 2000 - ME – 98)

download here

This browser is a perfect browser for an autism children; it’s the first browser developed specifically for children who display the characteristics of autism spectrum disorders, like impairments in social interaction, impairments in communication, restricted interests and repetitive behavior.

ZAC offers comfort zone for an autism children to interact directly with specifically provided games and activities on many interests. ZAC has been an effective tool for kids with low, medium and high functioning autism.

ZAC Browser is for special children - for their enjoyment, enrichment, and freedom. Children touch it, use it, play it, interact with it, and experience independence.

• TUKI (the Ultimate Kids Internet) kid safe and educational browser

OS: all Windows

download here

This browser will help you protect your children from the ages of 4-14, with its free Internet filter and parental control software that also has an educational component.

Here are some key features : as the Parent Administrator on your account, you have access to add or subtract from the main Include List to create a tailored Include List for your children. When you activate the "Internet Protection Module" option; children can only surf the Internet from their TUKI Kid Safe Browser, it will eliminate the risk of them launching another browser to surf un-protected.

All Safety Features have easy on/off switches. For those parents who don't want to take the time to monitor everything, this browser has pre-configured with standard settings that will protect and educate your children with little or no time needed from you.

The Parent Administration Panel is web based, which means you can change or edit the features from anywhere that has Internet connection! Work, home, on the road, it doesn't matter.

• KIDO'Z (available in 17 languages)

Kido'z is a newly released Adobe Air based kid browser that allows children to surf websites, play games, and watch videos in a protected environment. A great component of this browser is that it blocks links and ads which often lead children to sites that are unsafe. This browser has very little text and focuses more on images, so it is designed to younger children.

This browser is free to download, but you have to install Adobe Air first. That’s why I don’t give you the download link here. It’s better to download straight from the site; you can download in the whole package including Adobe Air.

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After Giving Birth the Baby

Congratulations on your new born baby! Some new mothers are very happy; but some others are not. After delivering the baby, there are quite a lot of new mothers get depressed, passionless, confused, sad, disappointed, anxious and other mix-upped negative feelings without a clear reason. An expert said that these depressed feeling is often occurred to new moms.

There are two kinds of after giving birth syndrome: baby blue syndrome and postpartum depression syndrome. Baby blue syndrome is less severe and usually happened less in a week. Postpartum syndrome is more severe and can happen in more than 2 weeks or even continuing until few months. This syndrome has no time limit when it affects new moms and it also can happen on every baby birth.

Every woman can have this syndrome, even though you’re a doctor, psychiatrist, professor etc. There is no relation with the rationality of a woman. The syndrome is more dominantly caused by the hormonal change of the woman bodies. The physical change, the fatigue after delivering the baby and the doubts in facing new things are worsened the new mom’s condition. You may still remember that a famous US actress Brooke Shield has ever had the postpartum syndrome; she felt very depressed, sick and unable to fulfill her baby needs.

This syndrome can make a new mom to feel uninterested or on the contrary very interested to her baby; too worry or too pay attention; too afraid to hurt herself and her baby and unable to sleep or even lots of sleep.

To overcome your syndrome, here are the tips that can be applied after giving birth your baby :

• Don’t get too intense, you should take times to relax


• Have enough rest first. Share home tasks and your baby care with other family member


• Limit your guests if you feel uncomfortable with too many persons in your house


• Do more relaxing activities such as listening to music, reading books, watching movies


• Build an open communication with other family member, especially with your husband. Don’t be hesitant to explain your feelings to others. A husband and other family member should know the information about the syndrome before so that they can give the best support to a new mom


• Consult to the expert if your condition is getting worst

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One Organ with Many Names

As happened in many countries, most parents are reluctant to mention the real name of the genital to their son. As parents, we commonly use alias to mention this organ. The aliases are varied; it depends on the local culture around us. In my country, the aliases are many and they all are funny names, such as tetot, titit, bird, boy, duck, the little, etc.

An expert in early aged children education said that introducing the real name of genital must be adjusted with the child’s age. If your child is still below five years old, you can introduce the genital name using alias which is familiar to use in your family and local society.

Basically, it’s a right thing to do if you want to introduce your child the real name of his genital. But please do this seriously, don’t you ever mention the genital name while laughing at the same time.

If your child asked why his genital has a different name with his friend, you could simply say that those names are the same organ with the same function to have a pee but there are different ways in mentioning the name. It’s better to use simple and clear words so that your child can understand thoroughly every thing that you’ve explained. The children below seven years old are still hard to understand the scientific explanation.

If your child asked why there is a difference between boy and girl genital, you could give more simple explanation that those organs still have the same function to have a pee though they have different shapes.

I hope this short article may help you. As parents, you must know how to build a good communication with your child. While explaining anything, you always have to consider the age and the ability level of your child.

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Family Freeware

• Family Tree Pilot 1.04
  Create your own family tree using your personal photos!

download here

• Photo to Sketch 3.51
  You can easily convert a photo into excellent sketch, only one click! Make a characteristic sketch as a gift to your family and friends.

download here

• Pregnancy Countdown 5.0

>download here



Congratulations on the pregnancy! It’s better to start preparing from now. If your familiy need a birth countdown, you can use this freeware. Besides as a counter, this application has also many interesting information around mother and child issue. All you need to do is just filling the pregnancy time.

• Desktop Budget Lite 2.0

>download here

Desktop Budget Lite lets you take control of your budget and manage all your finances including your checking, your credit cards, loans, savings accounts, and any debts you might have. It’s all with easy to use, self explanatory windows and applications. Desktop Budget Lite will tell you when your bills need to be paid. You can create forms and transactions that are recurring, like those that need to be collected or even paid every month.

It is a financial management software that is renowned to deliver all essential features covering almost all day-to-day financial activities. So start managing your finances with this freeware and conquer your financial goals!

• tuxpaint

>download here



This simple painting application is addressed for kids 3-12 yearsold. Tuxpaint is very kid friendly with the colorful big buttons. Your kid will love to draw with tuxpaint!

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Family-Safe Internet

As parents, you must protect your child from bad informations in internet. There is added software which can be used to block or filter material that is not appropriate for your family.

Generally, the function of this software is included two categories below:

1. Browser for kids.
The function is similar with other browser, but there is added facility to filter materials from internet which are seen or downloaded by your kids.
There are free browsers for your kids such as that are mentioned below. I will add other browser later.

• KidZui

download KidZui browser

KidZui is a free attractive graphical Web browser designed just for kids with access to over 2 millions kid-friendly Web sites, pictures, and videos, a search engine and online playground for kids 3-12 years-old age. Real parents and teachers review content for KidZui so your kids can surf independently. Kids build avatars to express themselves online while earning points for exploration and discovery. It’s really fun for your kids!

As parents, you don’t have to constantly watch over your kids' shoulder, when they are online. You will know what your kids are doing online. KidZui sends a weekly email that tells you what your kids are doing online. The KidZui parent account lets you share content and set limits.

• Buddy Browser

download Buddy Browser

It’s better to give your kid access to the best, most fun and educational quality kids websites that are known to be clean. Buddy browser will help you to do this! The searching on internet only takes to children friendly websites. Anything that is not child friendly is blocked.

There are TV shows, cartoons, games, homework tutors, and all kinds of things for kids to do on this website. This website is controlled by parents. You decide how many hours a day your child is allowed on Buddy Browser.

2. The specific software to block or filter the content

This software is more complex than just a browser.
There is one of filter content freewares. I’ll add another freeware in the next post.

• K9 Web Protection

You will need a K9 web protection license here : http://www1.k9webprotection.com/getk9/index.php

before installing the software :

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/getk9/download-software.php

Unlike other filtering solutions, K9 Web Protection ensures the highest level of protection by building the most relevant ratings database available. Its effective coverage reaches more than one billion Web pages. With K9 Web Protection, you finally have a chance to build a family-safe Internet experience for your home, simply and easily.

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The Meaning of Baby Crying

At a glance, the baby crying just looks the same. However, there are various possibilities that would be expressed by the baby through his cry such as feeling tired, hungry or in pain. Each has its own characteristics. According to the experts, there are certain signs in the body of baby that we can see when he's crying.

You can see the signs below:

• Brow. When a baby wrinkles his brow so that the wrinkled lines appear on the brow or around the eyes, the experts said that it is a sign that he is feeling sick or in pain. When the pain is severe, the wrinkle on his brow will appear deeper and the skin will look grayish.
• Eyes. When a baby is in pain, the baby’s eyes likely will be only partially closed. Usually around the eyes appear more wrinkled lines. It’s also depends on the degree of the pain. When the pain is extraordinary, his eyes will tightly closed although he isn’t sleeping. These closing eyes make the baby eyelids blinking.
• Mouth. The deep wrinkled lines around the baby mouth with the tightly closed lips at the same time is a sign of pain. When the pain is extraordinary, the baby mouth will open unusually.
• Arms and legs. When not feeling comfortable, a baby will loosen his arms and legs and then tighten it. However, if the baby feels sick, his arms and legs will look more stiff. The baby will also pull both knees toward the body. When the pain is more severe, the body will appear tense, the knees will be straight and both arms stiffly near the body.
• Fingers. Baby's hands will close or knead strongly if he doesn’t feel comfortable. When the pain is severe, immediately the fingers will wide open stiffly. When the pain becomes extraordinary, all fingers will knead with the thumbs inside.
• Toes. When feeling a little sick, a baby will bend his toes strongly. However, if the pain is more severe, his leg will stiff and lead to the bottom. When the pain becomes extraordinary, his thumb will pull out far from other toes.

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Is Your Spouse Cheating on You?

Sex has become part in a pair of husband and wife’s life, but this should not be a reason to cheat. Whatever the reason is, this will never get the justification of any aspect. Sometimes a husband or wife cheats just to get something that is not obtained from the spouse.

Cheating is a serious problem in a marriage life. It is not easy to solve the problem. There are many things that must be considered such as the sake of their children.

To avoid cheating, although it is difficult enough to detect, some guidance below can be input for you to read your spouse’s changes of attitudes and habits.

1. Frequently disappearing.
Your spouse disappears suddenly without a reason. At week ends your spouse always works overtime or leaves out of town without a reason and a definite destination address.

2. Rarely calling.
There are sudden changes such as the seldom phone calling. If there is still any call for you, the call habits will be changed. While your spouse was explaining, due to the guilty feeling, the reason was usually false and complicated.

3. Longwinded explaining.
When you asked where she or he had been that day, your spouse suddenly explained all routines daily activities. It’s different from the previous habit; your spouse used to describe as needed.

4. Reluctantly asking you going out.
Your spouse has never invited you going out like the previous time. If you are going out together, your spouse will avoid the regular place to visit.

5. Staying away.
Your spouse tends to avoid frequently chat. There are also changes in sleeping schedule; your spouse always sleeps later. Or while in the bed room, after you have slept, your spouse sneaks out to make a phone call or even goes out with a lot of reasons.

6.Changing in sex habits.
There are changes in your spouse sexual habits, whether it becomes cool or passionate more often.

7. Changing in financial condition.
When the increasing expenses changed drastically, please be aware of, especially if your spouse didn’t bring anything home.

8. Soaring in phone bills.
Your spouse’s cell phone bills usually increased dramatically. The phone number which your spouse is often called is usually an unknown number by you.

9. Going out after receiving a phone call.
When the cell phone rang, watch your spouse while receiving the call. Keep your eyes more open if your spouse leaves home after that call.

10. Excessive perfume scent.
Usually your spouse has started to be more careful if there is other perfume scent which sticks on the shirt. If your spouse suddenly uses perfume more often, you will have to be alert; especially when she or he replaced the usual perfume to the stronger aroma.

11.Changing in appearance.
If your spouse goes back home in a neater appearance than usual, don’t be hesitate to ask about the activities of that day. It should be remembered to still ask in a nice way and there is no need to point out your distrust. Don’t let him or her feels suspected.

12.Getting more emotionally.
Feeling guilty and afraid to be discovered by you, your spouse fortifies himself or herself with yelling and blowing you up more than usual.

13.Changing in your spouse’s friends attitudes.
Usually your spouse’s friends know more than you about the secret things. If they really know your spouse’s secret, they usually always try to avoid meeting you.

14. Mysterious attitudes.
Indeed, you don’t need to know your entire spouse’s daily life. However, if it begins to appear mysteriously; for example, your spouse hangs up the phone every time you pass by, you will need to find out more what it really happened.

15. Unusual surprising gift.
Lately your spouse gave you gifts more often or not usually. Watch out, this is may be the way that your spouse paid for the guilty feeling to you.

16. The car checking.
If you feel suspicious already and want to start an investigation, your spouse’s car is an effective first step. Check the backs of the chairs, whether there is a change in its position? Are there any goods which don’t belong to you or your spouse? You also have to be more alert when your spouse wanted to buy a new car with the excuse that you can have your own car.

17. Changing in sleeping and eating habits.
Your spouse no longer or seldom has dinner at home. Or she/he suddenly likes the food that has previously been untouched. Or your spouse can also suddenly become difficult to sleep.

There are things below that you must be noticed in cheating issue :

• It’s very painful if your spouse is cheating on you. If this bitter incident really occurs, however, there must be a settlement. You should still make a big decision. Therefore, it needs your clear mind to settle this problem. When you are in unstable emotional condition, it will be vulnerable to make a wrong decision.
• It should also be remembered that all decisions will be at risk. You must thoroughly consider the decision that will be made. Before you make the decision to maintain the marriage or get a divorce, you must know first, why and with whom your spouse having an affair?
• If the other woman or man is a prostitute, the decision to get a divorce is correct. This affair will usually be performed repeatedly or even often occurred already. Not to mention the risk of suffering various diseases.
• If your spouse is having an affair with an ordinary woman/ man, you should consider the decision well. Making a divorce decision will be more open space for the other woman/man to take over your spouse.
• Do not directly threaten to want a divorce, moreover, settle it with another love affair. This will be the justification for your spouse at what he/she has been done. The question is what should you do?
• With the clear mind, invite your cheating spouse to discuss about what he/she was doing. Though it is painful, but the openness will make it easy for you to take an appropriate decision. "The past times and the memories are beautiful" is a powerful weapon to conquer your spouse. In general, a person is not easy to break the marriage relationship and also don’t like a change.
• Try to put in your spouse mind of your marriage commitment when you married first. When you open up the past times with thousands of beautiful memories, usually your spouse heart will feel left out. On the contrary, he/she will feel ashamed of himself/herself. This attitude may allow your cheating spouse realizing the guilty.
• If it is really needed, don’t hesitant to seek a professional help to solve your problem!

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Conserving The Love of a Married Couple

• 1. Just 15-20 minutes every day
  During your busy life, don’t forget to still spend time together around 15-20 minutes to be intimate with your spouse. Except having meals together, husband and wife can do other activities such as:
  
• Listening to your favorite music
• Having a little chat in the serene place with intimate
• Sitting on the sofa while embraced without television interference
• Drinking a cup of tea or coffee at the terrace
• Taking a walk together in the neighborhood at night
• Forgiving each other before going to bed. Start it tonight and make it as your new habit.

Do these simple tips alternately and make it as your daily routine. This activity patterns are very useful to restore the balance of sexual cycle after a busy work day.

2. Taking advantage of sense of humour
Each couple may have a unique humour style. Many couples can enjoy intimacy with the insertion of humor in their daily communication. Why don’t you try to do that also? Humour spices in the couple’s life can be one of the pillars to build more affection.

3. Everybody needs to be embraced
Take a few minutes to embrace or cuddle together, please do this regularly every day. Not only in a happy condition, but also in grief we will feel comfortable if we embrace. There are physical and emotional aspects in a hug. Embracing is not only showing concern, but also expectations.

4. Gazing into your spouse’s eyes
This is also a way to express your love. Eyes gaze may be more meaningful than words. Eyes also can reflect how valuable you are for your spouse.

5. Accompany your spouse
One of the reason for the loss of romantic and intimate atmosphere is when a wife/husband is left alone to do other activities. Don’t often say to your spouse "I must go now. There is something I’ve to do". Your attendance is very important for your spouse.

6. A simple but extraordinary thing
Sometimes we think that giving expensive things such as cars, jewelry and others to our spouse is of most value. In fact, there are many other things that may be more meaningful. Making breakfast though you are very busy, staring your spouse affectionately, praising and giving small gifts while expressing your feeling of love are very valuable habits. Indeed, these habits will take great effect to your marriage life.

7. Expressing your empathy
Don’t you ever to underestimate your spouse’s disappointment, anxiousness and excitement. Express your empathy with words and declare that you really comprehend your spouse’s feeling.

8. Magic words
The most sacred words in preserving the greatest love are "I LOVE YOU". These three words lead you into a married couple. Don’t let these sacred words to be meaningless. Four powerful words, "I LOVE YOU TOO" are the biggest appreciation that must be spoken often. Those sacred words will be a powerful force when it is spoken with really sincere and full of meaning.

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How to Overcome a Coward Child

There are no parents who want to have coward children. Reprimanding and forcing children to be more dare will not make them better. Fear in children is actually normal things. Fear arises when children begin to realize the world around them. Since a child can walk, run and start talking, he is more independent and begins to reveal desires. On the other hand, the children are also sometimes starting to feel unsafe. With the size of the body that is still small, some children feel that the child himself is weak and easily attacked by the outside world.

Children can be afraid of various things, such as clown, dark, neighbor dog, voice of thunder, water and others. Parents may fight the child’s fear with directing it so that the child can control his fear. Read a story related to the fear. If your child is afraid of clown, tell a story about the clown who is actually the old kind-hearted man who loves his family very much. Children are critical thinkers; usually the fear will be reduced.

Child’s fear usually rises on the bedtime. He actually does not want to be separated and left by parents. If your child is afraid of monster will enter his room, try to anticipate by preparing "Anti-Monster" spray bottle. Add a few drops of aromatherapy oil such as lavender to it. Lavender fragrance can calm your child. Spray water to the window and door room. Say that the monster will not dare enter. Put the spray bottle on the bed-side table. Promise to your child if you will see him every ten minutes until he was asleep. Make your child comfortable with the routine activities before bedtime. Warm water bath, pick aback your child around the room, say good night to all his favorite things in the room, read bedtime story and pray together. Make sure your child that God will guard him during sleep. The child’s fear will slowly disappear if you feel calm and handle your child with patience and full attention.

If you have done the steps above but the fear in your child has not been reduced, you must address it more seriously. You must find the main cause of his fear. Here are some questions that can be a reference for you:

• Are there any major changes in your family? The children have felt comfortable with the previous condition and then they must be experiencing a big change in their life such as moving house, changing schools or having a new brother. Major changes that they feel can trigger children’ fears.
• Are there rules in your family? Routines, limits and rules can provide a sense of security. If there are no rules, children can not feel protected.
• Are you on many demands of your child? Children can be depressed if too many activities and feel their parents too prosecuted. Sense of stress can trigger children’ fears.
• Are you too worried about your child? Children can catch the feelings of their parents. If you are too worried, your child will also feel worried about his surroundings.

Correct the condition immediately after you find the main causes. Do not hesitate to contact an expert if you assume your child’s fear is too serious.

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How to Overcome Work Addiction

In the mind of a workaholic, the life seems only to work. They have more enthusiasm and strong physical stamina to work late every day. What is the difference between workaholics and hard workers?
Hard workers usually increase their work rhythm of a particular time, such as during the deadline, preparing presentations and making year-end reports. After that time-period elapsed, the work rhythm is back to normal.

Workaholics have a consistent high work rhythm. Workaholics will feel guilty if they are not working. For each of them a task is critical that must be completed as soon as possible. All the energy and time of workaholics are used for works. Can you see the difference?

Are workaholics also perfectionists? A perfectionist very emphasizes the importance of the work quality, even to things that are very detailed. Workaholics tend to prefer quantity or the large number of works performed. Their work quality is classified as moderate or even below the standard due to lot of works to be completed. As we all know; the human physical endurance has a limit. The fatigue will reduce the concentration and work creativity so that the job performance is declining.

Workaholics usually have poor relationship with the colleagues. They feel other people are too relaxed so that the colleagues are insisted to follow their rhythm works. The presence of a workaholic in a team work can even be harmful. The big potential conflicts can arise and there will be also the lack of team cooperation. Usually a workaholic will be deported by other members of the team.

There are not only problems in the workplace, most likely workaholics social life can be also disrupted. They don’t have enough time to socialize because most of their time is taken to work.
It is very obvious that this addiction should be handled seriously because the negative impact for themselves and their environment. Here are ten 'yes or no' questions to help assess whether your colleague or yourself classified as a workaholic or not.

• Do you feel always be pursued during the times in the office?
• Are you happy with the lot of list of tasks to be completed?
• Did you begin to forget the birthday date of your spouse, parents, children or friends?
• Do you hate holidays because you can not work in the office?
• Do you always bring work to home every day?
• Are you always on edge with the work unfinished?
• Do you often require colleagues to work more quickly?
• Do you rarely or never even take a vacation right?
• Do you often feel too tired to only speak with the family at home?
• Do you often call your colleague just to discuss the the job while you at home?

You have the tendency of work addicted if you have 5 or more ‘yes’ answers.

If your colleague is a workaholic, you can help him. The key words are still appreciating his work productivity. But you can tell him that the condition will be far better if he does not sacrifice the quality of work, health, relationships with family and office colleagues.

There are simple tips to overcome your workaholic colleague :

• Set the standard work procedures and work instructions guide.
• Help your colleague to prepare a list of tasks based on priorities. Not all tasks must be completed as soon as possible.
• Remind him always on the priority tasks that have been set.
• Do not criticize the long work hours. You can criticize the quality of work if it below the standards. Tell him that the quality and quantity of work are the same importance.
• To pull a workaholic out of his world, try to get your colleague to join in activities outside the office tasks such as workout in fitness sport club after office hours, lunch together, and others.

It is required your patience, but with the right steps, your colleague can usually begin to overcome his work addiction.

What if you are a workaholic? The most important thing is that you have already realized and recognized the symptoms that happened to you. Without any recognition, it is very difficult to overcome this addiction. You must have a strong desire and make the right steps immediately.
Applying these steps below to overcome your work addiction:

• Try to reduce the work rhythm. Any time you feel tense, talking on yourself, say that you need a little more calm. Take a breath several times slowly until you feel relaxed.
• Make a priority of the task based on a better level of significance. Do tasks based on priorities.
• Select each additional task or project offer that you receive. Make assessment of whether a task or project is beneficial for career development or only add the burden of your work.
• Learning to create a balance between working and not working activities. Choose other activities that can truly make you relaxed.
• Join and do activities together with people who pay attention and want to help you out of this work addiction.
• Take a vacation. During the holiday, do not think the task of the office at all. Do new things of interest. Watching movies, reading favorite books, try new foods or to go to places that you want to go. After you complete a holiday, immediately planning what you want to do on the next holiday. You can create a plan for every week end. Making a holiday plan make you wait for something fun, so you do not feel trapped in routine work.

Do all these steps consistently. If you have a strong desire, the good results usually will be able to achieve in just a short term.

A workaholic actually has a positive potential for success in the job. What should be done is to make and direct this potential as well as possible so that it does not become a boomerang for himself.

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How to Care for Aging Parents

Caring for parents who have entered old age is not an easy thing, especially if they have affected symptoms of senility. However, if you have the energy and time, do not hesitant to encourage your aging parents to live with together. You and all family members must provide with all the relevant knowledge first so that caring aging parents will become easier.

When someone reaches old age, functions of the physical and psychic body have decreased. The process is as natural and reasonable consequence of aging. Moreover, there are various degenerative diseases which accompany the elderly, so it needs extra attention from people around them.

Caring for the elder people is not only limited to physical health care but also on psychological and sociological factors. Please note that the quality life of elder people continue to decline along with increasing age. The decline in mental capacity, the role of social change, dementia (senility) and the depression that often suffered by elder people participate in aggravating their condition.

The first thing you should do is assessing the ability of your aging parents to run their body functions. There are six basic functions that must be observed. If there is a decline in ability; this suggests that your aging parents may need your assistance. The six basic functions are to eat, void, get up and go to sleep, enter a bathroom, bath and dress. There is also a list of eight instrumental functions that you need to monitor more strictly such as using the phone, preparing food, cleaning house, washing clothes, using the means of transportation (driving or not), taking drugs and setting up finance.

All you need to do is observing them during the various activities. Pay attention if a problem arises. One thing that is important, do not offer the prior required assistance or forbid them to do something which is not dangerous. Keep their feelings; do not make your parents ego offended.

As a daughter or son, you should still consider the rights of your parents as decision makers and do not ever impose your will. Appreciate them as an independent person.

You will have to take an action immediately if your parents have already shown denial signs that they are no longer able to function properly. For example, if they fell in the bathroom and they denied it. These things can be dangerous to their health if it is not treated immediately. You need to give more attention and increase your assistance if it is needed.

To provide a sense of security and convenience, you can change the interior design of the house or your parents' room. You just simplify the form of beds, chairs, doors, windows and so forth that often being used, skipped, or grasped. If it is needed you may also provide tools that allow your parents to walk, get up, sit down, and so forth. Bathroom should be made specifically for them. Do not use the climb stairs in the bathroom. You should also install a grip on the bathroom wall. If the facilities are available, your parents will feel safe and the danger will be reduced.

In addition to the decline in physical function, as generally, the decline in memory and intelligence also happens. The symptoms include the slow ability to think, the difficulty to concentrate and the difficulty to learn new things. Your parents may often forget the events that just happened and need helping cue to dig their memory. To help treat your parents’ memories, you can ask them to apply a variety of simple exercises such as recording daily activities, training the brain fitness with filling crossword puzzles, playing chess, reading or following the specific elderly exercises. All this activity aims to train attention and concentration.

If it is necessary, you can make the written or pictured signs to help their memory. Put these on a strategic place that is easy to read and watch. For example are the signs of today’s date, time to drink medicine schedule, your phone number and others.

To maintain physical and psychic health, your aging parents should still do the various daily activities. You can suggest a variety of activities to maintain their motoric and cognitive functions such as gardening, cooking, playing with the grandchildren, painting and other activities.

You and other family members may not serve all their needs as long as they can do it alone; so that your parents can still do their activities. You should be able to appreciate, encourage and make them feel valued as parents. They will feel that they are still considered, valued, loved and not simply a bothersome burden of others.

You need to set the food menu so you can meet the nutritional needs of your parents. It is better if you consult to a nutrition expert first. The measurement of vital signs, such as measuring blood pressure and blood sugar checks, should also be done regularly at home. Consult your health parents to the doctor regularly.

Being careful, patient, full of love and affection are the most basic things to give the best care to your aging parents. Your care is expected to be able to increase the quality of their lives, so your aging parents can enjoy their elderly age better.

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