Poisoned Relationship (2)
>> Dec 4, 2009
In the first post of this poisoned relationship topic, I’ve mentioned the first condition that can happen in an unhealthy relationship. Today I’ll step forward to the second condition. Remember again the big point: Stop Being a Victim! You must take the right step to get out of a poisoned relationship.
Second condition: “You all must be responsible for my happiness”
It’s a message that stated by a person that categorized as a ‘complainer’. Though it doesn’t straightly stated, this negative thinker often blames others; but rejecting to be responsible and do the self-change. They tend to generalize all cases as negative things.
Consorting with the complainer is so tiring; they suck your positive energy! Little problems can become big ones that he/she feels need to be complained. You, who listen to all complaints will feel ought to make this person happy, as the time goes by, every time you hear the complaint, you will feel the increasing burden that you must receive.
The complainer may look weak, but like the intimidator at the first condition, this person has the power to manipulate other’s feeling. They use ‘their weakness’ to force others to do what they want and need.
How to face the complainer? Here is the practical guidance for you:
Consorting with the complainer is so tiring; they suck your positive energy! Little problems can become big ones that he/she feels need to be complained. You, who listen to all complaints will feel ought to make this person happy, as the time goes by, every time you hear the complaint, you will feel the increasing burden that you must receive.
The complainer may look weak, but like the intimidator at the first condition, this person has the power to manipulate other’s feeling. They use ‘their weakness’ to force others to do what they want and need.
How to face the complainer? Here is the practical guidance for you:
- If the complainer always annoys you; stop being a victim by ignoring all complaints. Tell the complainer that the problem will be solved if he/she has a will to change.
- Tell the complainer that happiness doesn’t depend on anybody. To be happy or not is her/his own choice.
Even though you feel sorry for him/her, ignore the complainer for awhile. Praise him/her if the complainer has tried to fix the condition by his/her own effort.
The picture is taken from positivesharing.com
