So What is Divorce Meditation?
>> Jun 13, 2016
Divorce can be a difficult time for
anyone involved, and particularly so when there is a house, children and other
aspects of your life together to consider.
Whilst emotions can be running high and the situation can be stressful,
mediation can be of use to many couples.
Mediation essentially attempts to work with the couple to try and find a
resolution and agreements that both parties are happy with.
A couple may decide to use divorce mediation when
they are unable to come to arrangements between themselves or they are unable
to communicate clearly due to high levels of emotion. A mediator is a neutral third party that
helps to be the ‘go between’ in the divorce. Often, mediators will focus on issues such as
finances, property and childcare; the issues that need resolving quickly and
that can be the most contentious. The
mediator will help the couple of come to an agreement on each of the issues
that both parties are happy with. This
can come easily for some couples, but others may struggle. This is where the skilled mediator becomes
invaluable. They can work with both
individuals and help them to come to an understanding. Often, when there are children involved, it
is in their interest to have arrangements made as soon as it is practically
possible. A mediator can help this
happen relatively quickly as it can avoid the unhelpful criticisms and
emotional conversations that the separating couple can easily become embroiled
in.
The mediator in any divorce will
always remain completely neutral and impartial.
They do not have an opinion over who should get the house or who makes
the better parent. They are simply there
to help both individuals come to different arrangements on the issues. The mediator can help bring the couple
together and help to negotiate between the couple. However, they do not advise either party in
the couple, rather they adopt a more facilitative role.
Mediation is often voluntary, although
court proceedings may recommend mediation as a first step to resolving the
issues when a couple separates. In
certain countries there are exclusion criteria, such as domestic violence in
the UK. This means in these cases there
is no need to go through the mediation process before moving onto the court
process. Therefore, mediation can have
varying levels of success. If both
parties are committed to working out the issues and coming to an agreement then
it is often successful. Mediation can
continue for an unspecified amount of time as there is no way of knowing how
long it will take some couples to come to suitable arrangements.
Mediation can help to reduce costs
when separating and can avoid the need for an upsetting and lengthy court
process. It can also help the partners
to feel in control and come to arrangements themselves, rather than a judge
deciding for them. This is often
preferable for many couples, particularly when it comes to children. Often, parents are able to find the answers
themselves with the support of a trained mediator.
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