Caring for Your Aging Parents—5 Things to Talk About
>> Mar 14, 2017
It used to be your parents talked to
you about your health and made sure you were eating right and staying healthy.
As our parents age, however, the care giving roles get reversed and there are
certain conversations that we must be the ones to initiate. If you have parents
who are in their late sixties and early seventies, now is the time to talk with
them about their health. Here are some points that you should plan to discuss
with your parents sooner rather than later.
Health-related concerns
Conversations centering around one's
health and wellness may seem daunting. Do not let that stop you. An important
aspect of caring for an aging parent is that of exploring and discussing ways
to improve their quality of life. Would hip surgery allow him to
enjoy his nature walks once again? Perhaps your parent may be a candidate for
LASIK surgery, allowing greater use of her eyes? Explore the possibilities and
then discuss them with your parents. Be a source of well-researched information
for them.
Other questions to ask include
whether they are going to their scheduled health appointments. Are they taking
their medications? Do they have any new aches and pains that they are dealing
with? At this age, minor afflictions can lead to complications if one is not
paying close attention.
End-of-life requests
Perhaps you feel that it is too soon to discuss end-of-life care with your parents? It is exactly during this time when they can make thought-out decisions about such matters that you want to have these discussions. Sometimes all that is needed to initiate this conversation is a question as simple as, "Is there anything that worries you about the future?" Matters that you should discuss and know their wishes on include funeral requests, will and estate directives, etc.
Physical duties
As parents age, their ability to do
what they were once capable of diminishes. But their awareness of this fact may
lag. And for parents who enjoy their independence,
they may not desire to rely on others to do what once came so naturally for
them. However, as we age, muscle weakness means we are at greater risk of falling. And if we do fall, injuries take longer to heal. Offer to
help with specific tasks. Instead of, "Is there anything I can help
with?" Go for "I would love to go shopping with you for groceries on
Sunday. What do you think?" Make it easy for them to say yes. Drop by for
weekly visits and while you are there, clean any hard-to-reach places while you
are at it.
Social
activities
Making sure that your parent stays active mentally and socially can help decrease their risk of dementia. One study states that it decreases dementia risk by as much as 70 percent. Introduce clubs and events that might be interesting for them to attend. Be particularly attentive to their socialization if you have recently lost a parent, and he or she a spouse. Widows and widowers have a higher risk of becoming socially isolated right after the passing of their loved one. Exercise groups, book reading clubs, charity events are all popular and beneficial options. Offer to drive them to a weekly meetup if transportation is an issue for them.
While most of us wish that our parents would live forever, science has yet to prove helpful on that front. There are, however, discussions that you can have with your parents that will ensure a better quality of life during the time that they do have. For those who are close to their parents, both physically and emotionally, these conversations may be easy. For others, they may prove challenging, as these topics are generally of a more sensitive nature. But the peace of mind that comes will be well worth the effort and time invested in doing so.
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