How to help your children adjust to a new house?

It’s normal for your children to feel insecure in their new house

A little girl in a dress standing among wildflowers

Moving away from everything you know and starting a new life may be hard for you, but it’s much harder for your children. In their little world, relocation brings about the loss of security and confidence. Don’t expect them to be excited about the move, even if you know that it’s a change for the better. They don’t know that.

But if you put your mind to it, you can help your children adjust to a new house and embrace their new life without too much trouble. Take your time and use some of these tricks to help you out during this stressful period.

Prepare yourself for emotional reactions

Not only that your children will not be excited about the move, but the reaction will probably be completely the opposite. Their emotions can range from sadness and secludedness to sheer anger and frustration. If they are toddlers, you can expect disruption of sleep, clinginess and irritability at the slightest inconvenience. As if you were not frustrated enough, you need to cope with a roller-coaster of emotions all around you. 

You need to stay calm and in control. Remember that you can control your emotional reactions, while your children cannot. They look up to you and your stability means a world to them, especially in a crisis situation.

Show them the house and neighborhood before the move

It’s a good idea to talk to your children before the move. Don’t avoid talking to them about your new house in advance, because it’s better for them to be prepared. In fact, you should take them to see the house and get the picture of the neighborhood if you have the possibility to do so. Encourage them to express their opinion but remain positive about the whole thing.

If there’s a playground or a fast food restaurant in the neighborhood, buy them off with a pizza and a fun afternoon outdoors. These simple things truly matter to your kids. They will attach positive emotions to the places where they enjoy themselves. There are activities the whole family can enjoy, and if you take them to these little trips frequently, they’ll soon start to enjoy their new surroundings.

Prepare your new house before the children arrive

If possible, arrange the house cleaning before your children move in

A broom, a garbage picker and a mop standing next to each other.

This is not always possible, but if you have the chance to do the basic preparations in terms of cleaning and decluttering before your kids move in, it would be great to do so. If you can’t do it on your own, you can find someone who can help you prepare the space before you start unpacking. You have enough work to do already and if someone can help you with the preparation, it would be a huge load off your back.

Let your kids make some arrangements in the new house

If they are not too young, your children can make some of the arrangements in your new home. It will make them feel in control and put their mind off negative thoughts. Let them decide on small decorative items and the color of the walls in their bedroom. Taking part in decision making will help your children adjust to a new house.

Actually, it would be best to give them the freedom to arrange their new room as they please. It will boost their confidence and keep them busy. You don’t have to like it. It’s their room.

Help them stay in touch with friends

Your children will reinvent their social life over time

Two little girls hugging each other in a park.

Moving is especially difficult for teenagers because it disrupts the friendships they made back home. Social life is on the top of the priority list in a life of an average teenager. However, younger children will suffer because of the loss of their friends as well.

You can help your children overcome this difficult period by letting them invite their old friends for a sleepover as often as possible. In addition, encourage them to stay in touch over the phone and online so they wouldn’t feel left behind. Eventually, they will create new bonds and rebuild their social life, but let them find their own pace.

Tips for parents with younger children

Play hide and seek with your kids around the house

A small boy hiding under the garden table, smiling.

If your children are too young for you to include them in decision making and online chats, you can help them adjust to a new house in another way. Play around together to make them relax and enjoy their new surroundings. For example, play hide and seek. It’s a fun game, but at the same time it will help your little ones get used to their new living space. Involve the whole family in exercises around the house and your kids will have a great time and adapt more quickly.

Another good idea is to sign your child up for sports. Do the research and find local teams which practice the sports your child shows interest in. Apart from having fun, your child will adapt more quickly and make new friendships in the local team.

Create a schedule and stick to it

Living in a new house will make your children feel insecure. Waking up in a new, unfamiliar surrounding can make them vulnerable and secluded. Children like to follow predictable patterns and don’t respond well to major changes.

One of the solutions is to set up a schedule when it comes to dining, bedtime and playtime. Stick to it as much as you can, because it will help your children find their pace and create a routine.

Remain positive

Your attitude towards a new house will have a strong influence on your children. If you remain positive about the move and keep calm even when things turn into a real mess, your children will adjust more easily. Take a deep breath and put a smile on your face. Soon enough you’ll enjoy your new home together with your kids.